Meg and Jason Light Up The Cotton Room at Their Wedding

In October I had the joy of marrying Jason and Meg at The Cotton Room in downtown Durham.  They had a lovely exuberant bunch of people there to celebrate their wedding so I knew that their reception would be a lively affair.  And they're both such joyful generous people, it was easy to see why that would be so.  

Before the ceremony I made a request on their behalf, and I've never heard it put so eloquently:  "Welcome, friends and family! Good evening, everyone. Please be seated. Meg and Jason invite you to be truly present at this special time. Please, turn off your cell phones and put down your cameras. The photographers will capture how this moment looks -- I encourage you all to capture how it feels with your hearts.”   And their photographers, Elisa and Jay, of iContrast Images, did capture each moment beautifully.  Thank you to them for these lovely images.

Eric Hodgden, of All Around Raleigh DJ was their excellent DJ and also did the ceremony music.  I love working with him.  He really knows what he's doing!  Danny Hinton or Cleveland Plant and Flower Company provided their flowers.  And Tamara and Janelle, Jason's cousins provided the string music for the ceremony.  This felt like a family affair because everyone was just so delighted with the love that this couple has created.  And I understand why.

In just over three years, Meg and Jason have gone through (collectively) four job changes and two moves. They have bought their first house together, adopted a puppy and traveled as often as possible.  Through it all they find that they can rely on their deep bond of love and support of each other to accomplish their goals and to enjoy it all together.

Meg is forever grateful of Jason’s unending support and patience. She says he is the rock in their relationship.   She loves how close they are, and for the friendship that they have created. Jason is grateful for Meg’s love and passion.  He says that it is the best feeling in the world to know the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with will always be there for you. 

Meg says it best for both of them,  ‘To me, happiness is making a life with Jason.’

When Jason proposed to Meg it was a beautiful, private moment that they shared on the Greek Orthodox Easter last year.  Afterward they had fun celebrating with friends over bottles of champagne and cigars.  They told me that they were pretty much up all night!  And they are still celebrating.  This time it's their wedding.  I hope that they'll be celebrating for many years to come.  I wouldn't be surprised!

Aaron and Rachel Marry in May at The Cotton Room

I loved marrying Aaron and Rachel.  They are such fun!  And we had a special connection. My husband, Ruben, was Rachel's science teacher in middle school.  And they have a 100 pound yellow lab named Buddy.  Just thinking about him makes me smile.

Aaron and Rachel wanted a simple ceremony, wanted everyone to feel included, and wanted a ceremony centered on their love.  Easy and a joy to do.  And good professionals to work with, too.  

Michelle Allred of The Cotton Room was excellent as always.  Thank you to Kent Murray of Kent Murray Photography for his great photographs of the wedding.  Margaret Pender, of Victoria Park Florist was their florist, Sugarland provided their cake and Suzanne Bolt and Shelley Livingston were the violinists for their ceremony.  Kiley Holder of Cool Cats Entertainment was their fabulous DJ at their reception.

 The Cotton Room provides a wonderful blank slate for each couple to personalize.  I loved Rachel and Aaron's orange accents.  They made the room come alive.

 Rachel's sister, Kathryn and Maid of Honor, sang a beautiful piece a cappella amazingly and beautifully.  What a gift.  The piece she sang was the class Irish song 'Believe Me, If All Those Endearing Young Charms.'  I recommend it for any wedding.  Here is a Youtube clip from singer John McDermott.

I love how relaxed and present Rachel and her attendants look, and so lovely in those colors.

I think it was Rachel's father that took this picture at the rehearsal.  I love it.  It's a great memory of the joy I have in marrying couples, and this very special couple.  

I wish Aaron and Rachel many many happy years together!

Chris and Katie, Nathan and Tiffany, Matt and Erica, and Scott and Meredith Light Up This April

This has been a busy spring and I haven't had the time to write a blog about the wonderful couples I  married in April.  I love writing a blog about each couple if I can.  A blog about a ceremony brings back the joy I've felt with a couple as they begin their marriage with the love and support of their families and friends.  I'm very happily married and I love helping launch their marriage in a way that celebrates their love.

However the other side of our journey of life has required attention from me this spring.  My 91 year old mother-in-law has entered hospice.  I am reminded how time passes oh so quickly.

A quote  by Andre Maurois speaks to this:  'A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.'    I wish each of these beautiful couples below many long and rich conversations.

In early April I got to marry Katie and Chris at the NC Botanical Gardens.  We are lucky that the rain had stopped the day before and the day was cool.  They had their reception inside at the large banquet room but in a private corner of the gardens they held there ceremony for about 100 people.  Chris graduated this May so there were many joys to celebrate.  They wrote their own vows  and had a unity candle to honor their joining.  It was a sweet and loving ceremony.

 I officiated Nathan and Tiffany's ceremony at The Cotton Room in downtown Durham.  I've done many ceremonies there and Michelle Aldred and her staff at Triangle Catering are always great.  May 2012 was their 6 years anniversary.  Nathan proposed at the Old Well all decked out with lights with a 100 yard extension cord and a generator that a friend had provided.  He pretended it was a photo shoot so it was a surprise to Tiffany.  They are a fun loving couple who are grounded and solid in their love.  I wish them much joy.

 I married Matt and Erica at the Bryan Courtyard of the Carolina Inn.  A favorite place for me.  And now that they have finished their remodeling, they have much easier parking and the courtyard is still the same lovely classic wedding site it always has been.    They met in Seville, Spain during their Junior year abroad for UNC and began dating the fall of their senior year.  They've known each other for eleven years and had a long distance relationship for 4 of those years.  They're delighted to now be in one place together.  We offered an Irish Wedding Blessing in honor of Matt's heritage and welcomed Erica's family who came from Peru to share this day with them.  They are both generous spirited people who have large loving families.  I was so glad to be with them to celebrate their love.

 I had the joy of marrying Scott and Meredith at The Sutherland in an elegant ceremony in mid April.  Thank you to Ashlee, owner of The Sutherland, for her wonderful coordination of the event. Their ceremony music was provided by Save the Date musicians with a saxophone and guitar duet.  It was very unique.  Scott's 90 year old mother was there.  Both sets of their parents were still married so we honored that between the two couples they had more than 70 years of wisdom about love and marriage that still inspires Meredith and Scott.  In our prayer of blessing for their marriage I said, 'May the love that warms our hearts today and the love that flows between Scott and Meredith always be strong.  God grant them the inner gifts of trust, compassion. forgiveness, and truth that they may live and grow together in love and peace.  Amen.'

Some couples I marry request that I don't blog about them.  So I will just wish them many many blessings.  For some couples I never get pictures.  I send love to Elizabeth and Bruce, Alex and Kim, Tom and Carol, Christina and Eric, and Jean and Santiago, who I also wed this month, one couple in the backyard of their new home, one in the pergola at Duke Gardens, one in the Stone Chapel in Wake Forest, one at Spruce Pine Lodge, and one in my living room.

May they all find happiness in their love for each other.  May their love bring out the best in them as they bring our the best in each other.  May they have love that lasts a lifetime!

Early and Kaity Marry to Lots of Joy at The Cotton Room

Kaity sent me these pictures of her and Early's wedding at The Cotton Room in downtown Durham.  Thank you to Tanya Odom of T. Odom Photographics for these wonderful pictures.  They are perfect because they show just how much these two like to laugh.   When I asked about her attendants she said she just had lots of sisters - 5 sisters and a brother.  And that this was her family's fourth family wedding this year.   So they wanted something that would be uniquely their own.  They also wanted a short - but not shamelessly short ceremony.  They felt the need to tell me that when we met because of the very long ceremony that another family member had had.  They told me that they felt graced by their love for each other and they wanted to concentrate on that.  And so we did.

They love the life that they have created together since they met in 2007 – filled with laughter, endless conversations and shared interests including dorky computer games, cars, trying new and weird foods, and more.  Kaity loves how Early loves to talk about their future together as a couple and about one day having and raising their children.   And Early loves how life with Kaity holds so many  unexpected surprises. 

To celebrate Early's heritage, we had the reading 'The Key to Love' by a first century anonymous Chinese author.  That reading still says it all.  Then as a part of the ceremony Kaity and Early each drank from a glass of wine tied to the other glass by a red string.  This tied back to an old Chinese legend about the Old Man Under the Moon tying the feet of boys and girls together who are destined to become marriage partners with a red thread.  They will find each other even if separated by a thousand miles.  You can see the glasses on the table behind us.

 The Cotton Company did their catering, their flowers and their cake.  Eric Hodgden, from All Around Raleigh DJ, was his excellent self as always.  I love being able to rely on him and Michelle Alldred at The Cotton Room for her wonderful professionalism, patience and always generous spirit.  

I wish them much happiness all their lives!

Steve and Teri

At their wedding rehearsal, I hadn't seen Steve and Teri since we had met in late January, but our email conversations had been great, back and forth volleys sharing ideas and questions.   In that slightly unusual email way, I felt like I'd gotten to know a them well through a unique aspect of who they are together.  It was fun to see that blossom in our correspondence and then in person at their rehearsal.


I always love officiating weddings at The Cotton Room.  Michelle Allred is a fabulous coordinator and we've been working together so often and so well that we can trust that everything will flow flawlessly.    Also, the architectural elements make this space both elegant and warm as you can see below.  (The DJ was behind the curtain but with Michelle's 'walkie talkie' system, cue-ing the music was fine.)

Thanks to consummate pro, our photographer Diane McKinney of Diane McKinney Photography for these wonderful pictures, too.   She is a joy to work with as well, easy and personable.  Aaron was their wonderful DJ, Cinda of Cinda's Creative Cakes provided their cake and Tre Bella Florist created their flowers.  These are all local professionals who love their profession so create great work.  For all of us there that day,  Steve and Teri's wedding was a labor of love.

In their ceremony we celebrated that this was the anniversary to the day from when Steve proposed to Teri.  Their journey to this day began over 7 years ago at their first meeting.  They love the life they've built together, laughing at almost everything, except Patriot games of course.

In their vows they told each other, 'I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together.'

After Teri and Steve exchanged their vows, took part in the Hand Ceremony, noticing the hands of their beloved as we described how these hands would hold them through difficult times, lovingly hold their children, work together to build their future, and lastly, even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching for theirs.

Their recessional was 'Here Comes The Sun' by the Beatles.  To me there is no more fitting music for a wedding.  But then I'm a Beatles fan ever since they were on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1963, listening as they grew and matured, creating timeless music.  BTW - their processional music was 'Come Away With Me' by Nora Jones, and 'Forever' by Ben Harper, and Dave Barnes, 'I have and I Always Will.'  They were all beautiful.




Another thing The Cotton Room is good for is a big open space to dance.  I'm glad they had such a good time.

The wedding was full of their friends and family - another good reason for a large welcoming space.  

And here is the way that they remembered all their guests and their guests remembered them.  On this tree of life, each guest puts their finger print on the tree and write their name beneath it.

They were off to somewhere warm and exotic for their honeymoon- Mexico or a cruise to the Bahamas - I just remember thinking, 'Ooooh.   That sounds delicious.'  What a culmination of a great time with family and friends, and, of course, getting married!  I wish them many many years of delight.

Murat and Kirsten Have An International Wedding

Murat and Kirsten got married in The Cotton Room.  Praise be because it was a hot summer day and we were all inside thoroughly enjoying ourselves.  First, thanks to Courtney Gray of Courtney Gray Photography for these wonderful pictures!

Kirsten's and Murat's wedding was a wedding of 2 cultures and they joyfully expressed both in the ceremony.  Murat is from Turkey but his family was coming from the West Coast and Texas as well as Turkey.   Kirsten family is from Georgia.  Yet they met in Chapel Hill three years ago at Murat's friend's birthday party.  And now they live in Boston.


We wanted to especially honor Murat's Turkish heritage because his mother and his aunt don't speak English.  Murat and Kirsten decided on a Quaker like ceremony in which certain friends would speak during the ceremony of Murat and Kirsten's love for each other.  And that we would Murat's and Kirsten's vows would be said in both Turkish and English.  

We also chose eclectic poetry which spoke of their larger world view.  The first reading was from Joseph Campbell's 'The Power of Myth,' and the second was by a Turkish poet Nazim Hikmet Ran.  It's lovely and I repeat it here:

The most beautiful sea:

hasn't been crossed yet.

The most beautiful child:

hasn't grown up yet.

Our most beautiful days:

we haven't seen yet.

And the most beautiful words I wanted to tell you

I haven't said yet....

Their florist was North Raleigh Florist creating these bouquets that looked so natural.

Cinda of Cinda's Creative Cakes made this beauty which honored both their cultures and their colors.!

Thanks, too, to their wonderful guitarist Chris Bennett.  

Kirsten entered with her father to a Bach fugue for the processional whose delicate sounds played on the guitar echoed richly in this open resonant space.

After the wedding Courtney took photos of Kirsten, Murat and their wedding party and families in front of this restored old Durham building.  It makes a great urban backdrop.  

I love the Cotton Room because there are so many ways to use it.  Kirsten and Murat chose to have their ceremony at the corner of the building.  This feels like the most intimate way to shape the space.  Then cocktails and the reception would be behind them.  This makes wonderful seating of all types for people to visit with each other.  From this vantage point, the ceremony it to the front right.  That's  DJ Jason Lenhardt at the very back of the room in the white shirt.  Triangle Catering also catered their event.  It's always great!

I loved that Murat's and Kirsten's mothers, Tanzer and Debra, both brought gifts for the guests - chocolate and 'evil eye' key rings that bestow protection on your travels.

I believe in world community and that love is the best way to bring it around.  I had the joy many years ago of spending a month in Turkey and everyone there treated with with great hospitality and warmth.  I was traveling with a woman friend so we stayed in small inns all over the western side of the country.  I was happy to celebrate the richness that Murat's and Kirsten's life experience would bring to their marriage.

After they returned to Boston I got this wonderful note:

'Thank you so much for the attentiveness, professionalism and guidance. I cannot say enough how comfortable and at ease you made us feel especially with something that was foreign and very personal for both of us. You had so many options to choose from that we could flush out what we felt in a manner that would be appealing for all as well as ourselves. I've heard MANY comments about how personal and touching the ceremony & wedding was so I'm glad my goal was achieved. Thank you very much for your assistance in this with the ceremony.'

As they create their married life in Boston I wish them all happiness!  They were a joy and a delight in my life!

Jeremy and Amina @ The Cotton Club

 Amina and Jeremy planned their wedding with lots of love and lots of flair.  They drew upon their love of New Orleans and their time spent there to make a festival for the eyes and the ears that celebrated their love.  It was a joy to be a part of.


And The Cotton Room was the perfect blank slate for them to make festive.  First, thanks to Iris and Light Photography for the wonderful photos that included me in them.  The rest, of lesser quality, I took with my DROID because I just wanted you to see the imaginative touches they added.  The Cotton Room is so versatile, I just love to show off the possibilities.  Sorry these pictures are so dark!









Here is Iris and Light taking a picture after the wedding in that wonderful Cotton Room light.  





At each place setting there was a bottle of Cajun Hot Sauce!







Thanks, too to DJ Steven Feinberg who is always a joy to work with, 

Tre Bella Florist who did all of the flowers for Jeremy and Amina's wedding, and Whole Foods who baked their cake.  It was a wonderful event in honor of a truly delightful couple.


Before the wedding, they asked guests to write a wish, hope or blessing onto a colored strip of paper and add it onto the big glorious paper chain they would then have for the reception.

They also had this poem with their pictures.  




When I met with Jeremy and Amina we hit it off immediately because we both loved Berkeley, CA where Amina did her undergrad work and loved New Orleans where Jeremy is from.  They met in New Orleans at Tulane in 2009 at Art for Art's Sake and told me it felt like fate since they felt an immediate attraction.  They told me that they were both fine with being on their own and that they felt that, with this awareness, they enhance and enrich each others lives.


I loved their sense of ease with each other and their support of each other.  They also told me that they prioritize their relationship and always feel that they are there for each other.  It showed on their wedding day.  This was their second wedding day since they were married in a Moslem ceremony in April.


They definitely wanted a spiritual ceremony and to honor their grandmothers in the ceremony.
They drew upon all their cultural influences but the start.





Their ceremony music was eclectic and fun.  Parents were seated to Bach's 'Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring.'  I entered, followed by the groom's attendants and Jeremy and his parents to Otis Redding's 'Amen'  (I LOVED IT!).  Amina's attendants and flower girls (see their great picture below) entered to 'The Way I Am' by Ingrid Michelson, and Amina entered to 'Chapel of Love' by The Dixie Cups.  Everyone was having fun before they even got down the aisle.





We drew upon the wisdom of Kahlil Gibran on marriage from 'The Prophet' and they participated in the Hand Ceremony.  


It was only fitting that they should recess to 'Viva La Vida' by Cold Play.  I have a feeling that their life will be just as festive as their wedding.  This is a couple who know how to have fun.  I wish them all the happiness in the world.