Kristen and Brandon and Their Kids Celebrate at Beltline Station in Durham

I took a winter hibernation break from writing about ceremonies to ensure that I was fresh for couples in the new year.  Then I realized that there were some 2013 weddings yet to honor. 

Brandon and Kristen were a joy to marry.  Not only are they dedicated to each other, they are equally dedicated to all the children in their loving combined family.   Thank you to Heather Swanner of Heather Swanner Photography for letting me use her fabulous pictures.  And a special thank you to Nicole Conder of Premier Party Planners for all her assistance in making their day special.

And the Belt Line Station in downtown Durham was a perfect place for them to celebrate their marriage. They delighted that we were here in this old train station for their wedding.  Beltline Station was the station for the Lynchberg, VA to Durham NC run.  Brandon is from  NC and Kristen is from VA, making this an auspicious place for their joining together in marriage.

It was a joy to tell their family and friends how much they love each other.  In the ceremony I had the pleasure of saying:  'Kristen was first attracted to Brandon’s gentle spirit. She loves his calm and patience, especially with their kids!  He is very funny, witty, musically talented and very smart.  Brandon loves how Kristen is so easy being herself as well as how kind, smart, and understanding she is.   They share the same sense of humor and make each other laugh constantly.

A poet writes that love at its best is friendship caught fire.  Kristen and Brandon met under difficult circumstances and supported each other as friends during the hardest of times.  Their friendship strengthened and deepened.  They became best friends and fell in love.  They are still best friends, still in love, encouraging each other to go for their dreams, supporting each other at all times.

Together with their children they have created a life they cherish.  Each person able to be themselves fully, finding a partner in crime for all of life’s adventures, trusting each other with their hearts, looking forward to all of the steps of each child learning who they are in the world of adulthood, grateful each day for the love they share.' 

Their ceremony was filled with family love.  After Kristen's father walked her down the aisle, I asked him:  'The loving relationship between a parent and their child, no matter how old the child is, is cherished like no other.  In the love is interwoven protection, guidance, support and caring.  So I ask Kristen’s father, as he escorts her down this aisle on her wedding day:  Who presents this woman to be married to this man?

(He responds:  Her mother and I do.)  Then I asked their combined kids:  'As Kristen begins this new journey with Brandon, she wants to also acknowledge her profound love for all five of their children.   Her life could not have reached this day of such joy without these five additional loved ones who have helped to make her into the person she is.  So I ask Carter, Hayden, Jack, Ali and Jake. Who gives this woman to be married to this man?  (All five children say, we do.”)'

Their daughters Ali and Hayden sang for their ceremony.  What a treat!

Kristen’s ring has special significance, doubly powerful on their wedding day.   The ring that Brandon placed on Kristen’s finger is her grandmother’s anniversary band that Kristen received when her grandmother passed away.  Their wedding day was also her grandmother’s birthday!

Much play was had after the ceremony, too.  The architectural highlights of this venue make it a unique, funky, and extraordinary space with lots of opportunities for fun.

We said the following in their ceremony and it really fits them:  'Kristen and Brandon have found in one another someone who cares deeply about honesty, integrity, loyalty, kindness and caring.  These values nurture and inform their love, and they guide all aspects of their lives.'

I wish them all the joy in the world and I have no doubts they are loving being married and being an official family.    There were lots of other professionals who made their day special:  Beltline Station created all their gorgeous bouquets.  Simply Cakes made their cupcakes and Triangle Catering - Belt Line handled their catering, their DJ was Garrett Lamm of Touch of Class DJs.   Many blessings to Brandon, Kristen and their kids, and many thanks to all the other professionals for whom their wedding was a labor of love.

Murat and Kirsten Have An International Wedding

Murat and Kirsten got married in The Cotton Room.  Praise be because it was a hot summer day and we were all inside thoroughly enjoying ourselves.  First, thanks to Courtney Gray of Courtney Gray Photography for these wonderful pictures!

Kirsten's and Murat's wedding was a wedding of 2 cultures and they joyfully expressed both in the ceremony.  Murat is from Turkey but his family was coming from the West Coast and Texas as well as Turkey.   Kirsten family is from Georgia.  Yet they met in Chapel Hill three years ago at Murat's friend's birthday party.  And now they live in Boston.


We wanted to especially honor Murat's Turkish heritage because his mother and his aunt don't speak English.  Murat and Kirsten decided on a Quaker like ceremony in which certain friends would speak during the ceremony of Murat and Kirsten's love for each other.  And that we would Murat's and Kirsten's vows would be said in both Turkish and English.  

We also chose eclectic poetry which spoke of their larger world view.  The first reading was from Joseph Campbell's 'The Power of Myth,' and the second was by a Turkish poet Nazim Hikmet Ran.  It's lovely and I repeat it here:

The most beautiful sea:

hasn't been crossed yet.

The most beautiful child:

hasn't grown up yet.

Our most beautiful days:

we haven't seen yet.

And the most beautiful words I wanted to tell you

I haven't said yet....

Their florist was North Raleigh Florist creating these bouquets that looked so natural.

Cinda of Cinda's Creative Cakes made this beauty which honored both their cultures and their colors.!

Thanks, too, to their wonderful guitarist Chris Bennett.  

Kirsten entered with her father to a Bach fugue for the processional whose delicate sounds played on the guitar echoed richly in this open resonant space.

After the wedding Courtney took photos of Kirsten, Murat and their wedding party and families in front of this restored old Durham building.  It makes a great urban backdrop.  

I love the Cotton Room because there are so many ways to use it.  Kirsten and Murat chose to have their ceremony at the corner of the building.  This feels like the most intimate way to shape the space.  Then cocktails and the reception would be behind them.  This makes wonderful seating of all types for people to visit with each other.  From this vantage point, the ceremony it to the front right.  That's  DJ Jason Lenhardt at the very back of the room in the white shirt.  Triangle Catering also catered their event.  It's always great!

I loved that Murat's and Kirsten's mothers, Tanzer and Debra, both brought gifts for the guests - chocolate and 'evil eye' key rings that bestow protection on your travels.

I believe in world community and that love is the best way to bring it around.  I had the joy many years ago of spending a month in Turkey and everyone there treated with with great hospitality and warmth.  I was traveling with a woman friend so we stayed in small inns all over the western side of the country.  I was happy to celebrate the richness that Murat's and Kirsten's life experience would bring to their marriage.

After they returned to Boston I got this wonderful note:

'Thank you so much for the attentiveness, professionalism and guidance. I cannot say enough how comfortable and at ease you made us feel especially with something that was foreign and very personal for both of us. You had so many options to choose from that we could flush out what we felt in a manner that would be appealing for all as well as ourselves. I've heard MANY comments about how personal and touching the ceremony & wedding was so I'm glad my goal was achieved. Thank you very much for your assistance in this with the ceremony.'

As they create their married life in Boston I wish them all happiness!  They were a joy and a delight in my life!

Calvin and Pat's Wonderful Wedding

It's especially a treat when you can officiate the ceremony for dear friends.  I've known Pat and her younger daughter, Katie, for, goodness, it must be almost 10 years by now and love them both.  Then in 2009 I had the joy of officiating her daughter, Beth's wedding to Mike on Ocracoke Island.  Another blessing and a great couple.  Then when Pat met Calvin, and Ruben and I got to see their attraction grow into a love that kept maturing and growing, we were delighted.  Besides - they both have wacky senses of geeky humor.  Just our style.


They were married in June at a church where I used to be one of the ministers so it felt, in many ways, like coming home.  The Community Church of Chapel Hill Unitarian Universalist is a lovely church, newly remodeled, filled with light, color and art.  And it has a big fellowship hall for a reception.  And they rent to non-members.  It's all good.

Pat's daughters, Katie and Beth were two of her attendants, as you can see from the Charlie's Angels pose. They inherited their mother's sense of humor.  Hallelujah!

Here is part of what we said to guests in their opening words.  I planted the ideas for these words and they crafted the words. 

....This is a love that grew from friendship and common interests. They met at a Meetup group called RDU Geeks,.... At first, their friendship was based on sharing popcorn at the movies. Their first date was playing Scrabble at Calvin’s favorite hangout, The Open Eye Café. The fact that Pat was willing to spend an evening playing Scrabble was a good sign for Calvin. On their second date, Calvin proved his ability to sit still at a Durham Bulls game and even learned to keep score. These first two dates cleared the way for even more exciting dates like taking recycleables to the dump. Somewhere along the way, there was a first kiss. The deal was sealed for Pat when he took charge when Pat had pneumonia. The deal was sealed for Calvin when she supported him through his mother’s last days. Today they complete their journey to come together as a family.'

Their ceremony was them, to a sweet and loving 'T,' all the way through to the kiss.

One of their close friends is Tracey who is a baker who used to bake professionally as Sugarpunk, but decided that the professional part had too many restrictions.  Now she just bakes for close friends and you can see how good she is.

If you haven't seen the movie, 'Up' then you won't get the reference.  If you have, you'll be amazed at the likeness.  It's also one of Ruben's and my favorite movies.

Don't forget to notice the dog, Doug, or is it Dug, at the bottom who's best line in the movie is 'I luv you.!'

Tracey also baked the groom's cake.  A surprise for Calvin.  Yes this is the cake.  Both these folks are readers and science fiction fans.  Another amazing cake.  I don't know how she does it!

A close up for even more amazement!

Pat comes from a large family of siblings who really know how to party.  Add Calvin's family, their mutual friends, and DJ Mark McNally of Joe Bunn  DJ Company to the festivities, and they danced well into the night.  I must admit that Ruben and I were really tired that night so left early, and were sleeping blissfully by 11PM.

Thanks to Kerry Bassett, their friend and photographer for these great photos.  Heather at Triangle Catering for their amazing food.  I tasted all of it! And to Linda, at Harris Teeter for their flowers.  Also wonderful. 

It's fun to have Pat and Calvin still in my life.  With so many wonderful couples I know them only for that special moment of their wedding (and the planning of it).  As Candide would say, 'This is the best of all possible worlds.'  Not long after their wedding, Ruben went to see 'Cowboys and Aliens' with them.  Now that's good friends.  I wish them much joy every day.  And I hear they now have 2 new kittens.  New adventures in loving, and parenting.  :-)

Cameron and Kristina Not Daunted by Irene

Aug 27 seems so long ago already with the season change almost upon us.  But I married a couple this weekend for whom the groom's sister was married on the same weekend as hurricane Irene and they marveled that rain had been a surprise at both their weddings.

Cameron, Kristina and their guests were lucky.  The River Ridge Golf Club in Raleigh moved all the festivities inside beautifully and while it blustered and blew outside, and it did, we were all safe and cozy inside.  I especially wanted to write this blog because the wedding professionals that created their ceremony and reception did a stellar job in making the weather a non-issue.  Elissa, the catering manager at The River Ridge, is wonderful.  I've worked with her before and she goes the extra 100 percent to make sure, no matter what happens, it will all turn out fine.


Jungiro Sumikawa was their flexible and understanding photographer.  I can't wait to see his photos.  The ones you see here are from my Droid.  Triangle Catering did their catering, calmly setting up and serving canapes in much less space than anticipated but everything gracefully presented and served.   

And all these wonderful floral arrangements were made by Fresh Affairs florist.  You can tell they were intended for a much larger setting (that wonderful expanse of green you can see out the window).  I'm just glad there was room to use them all.

I also love to work with DJ Mike Morse of Mike Morse Entertainment.  He's another professional that you can trust to flow with any changes easily and seamlessly.  

Their cake was by Swank Cake Design.  Kristina designed the decorations in her favorite color orange.

I drive home after a wedding like this feeling blessed for being able to be there for the couple, AND for working with such great folks.  


Kristina and Cameron are starting their married life blessed with the love and support of many people.  I wish them all the best!