Graham and Monica Marry In The Perfect Place

Graham and Monica chose to marry at the Nature Research Center, a.k.a.  the new part of the Museum of Natural Science on Jones Street in downtown Raleigh.  And I was the lucky officiant who got to marry them.  It was a perfect location for them.  As self-proclaimed geeks they were in their element.  And in addition to being fun and innovative, the center is quite lovely.  

Their ceremony site was a large meeting room on the fourth floor, quiet, perfect for easily 100 guests, and well appointed.  We did laugh that we lined up for the processional in the closet.  That's the door to the far right that goes through the closet which has kitchen elements to it and then out into the lobby.  So Carolyn Scott of Carolyn Scott Photography, a truly wonderful professional as well as a friend with a great sense of humor, documented us all hanging out in the closet before the ceremony.  Thank you Carolyn, for all of these pictures.

We had fun crafting their ceremony making it personal, humorous, warm and casual, just like them.  We invited guests to actively participate in the ceremony, just as they are active participants in their lives, inviting them to clap, cheer or laugh as the mood struck them.  Graham's fun loving grandmother took us at our word and clapped often and vigorously, which just added to the joyful mood.  Here we are enjoying just such a moment.

They created vows which I love and which begin, 'I take you as my partner, loving and respecting the amazing person that you are, and the person you will become,' and ending with 'I will cherish every day we have together, sharing the sweetness of our life.'

As Monica placed Graham's wedding ring on his finger, she said, 'I give you this ring as a pledge of my love and as a symbol of our unity.'

They  took part in a Box, Love Letter and Wine Ceremony with a lovely handwoven container.  I've changed this ceremony over the years to have a few versions.  In this version we quoted author Germaine Greer that 'successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person' inviting them to choose a time, perhaps an anniversary, to open the box, read the love letters and share with each other how their love has grown and deepened.

When Monica emailed me after the ceremony to say thanks she included this note that I love, 'My grandmother commented that it was the only wedding she had ever been to where everyone laughed instead of cried :) '  I loved it.

What a dear couple.  I loved having them in my life.  And it was a real surprise and a treat to find that two of their friends are Sean and Ellen, a couple I'd married just the year before at All Saints Chapel.  

Another treat was to see that Noreen Fitzmaurice of The Celiac Bakery provided their cake.  I bet it was wonderful.

I send much love to Monica and Graham.  I so enjoy adding to the sum of love in the world, and having such lovely people who let me be a part of such a special time in their lives.  I thank  them! 

Matt and Jennifer Marry Twice at The Rigmor House in Chapel Hill

 Jennifer and Matt are just plan fun.  And their wedding was designed to ensure that everyone else had fun, too.  The lawn of the Rigmor House in Chapel Hill was scattered with toys for the kids and the adults to be played with before and after the ceremony.  Matt and Jennifer wanted to ensure that they had fun, too, and were concerned that their nervousness from being the center of attention during the ceremony would distract from their ability to be present with each other.  So they came up with a unique idea.  

Before their official ceremony with everyone around, Matt, Jennifer, and I, and of course their wonderful photographer from Hartman Outdoor Photography, went down a path away from the house, and away from everyone else.  They wanted a quiet place to share informal vows with each other and to exchange rings just by themselves.  This is how they captured the intimacy of the time for them as well as with their family and friends, just a few moments after.

 It was wonderful to be a part of this special moment with them.

 Thanks, too, to their photographer for this great shot of me.  

 At their larger ceremony, Matt and Jennifer and I stood under an arch made my Jennifer's father just the day before.  It was really lovely.  Their private ceremony didn't detract at all from the joy and celebration of the ceremony with their families and friends.  Each were unique.  At the moment in the picture below, Matt and Jennifer are putting their love letters into the box with the wine for their Box, Wine and Love Letter Ceremony.  We did this ceremony in a different way that is generally written.  I wrote the words below to reflect the sentiment that they had requested:

'Author Germaine Greer writes, ‘Successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.’  Throughout your relationship, you have already fallen in love with each other many times. And you will many more times.  To remind you of the love you share today, choose a time that calls to both of you to open this box, sit and drink the wine together, then separate and read the letters you wrote to one another on the day you were united as a couple. When you read these love letters, cherish anew the reasons you fell in love and chose to marry each other, share with each other how your love has grown and deepened and let this small ritual be a renewal of the commitment and love you share.  You might like to write new letters and get new wine and let the ritual continue through all the years as a way to honor each other and your marriage.'  I love what we created for them and will offer this version, too,  to all the couples I marry who choose this ceremony.

I love the picture after their wedding as we stand in the doorway of the gazebo in another section of the large lawn at the Rigmor House.  It was a joyful day for them, and for me, as I saw how, even with wedding stress, they were a loving, gracious and kind couple to each other and to everyone there.  They chose excellent professionals to make sure their day was stress free, too.  Whole Foods in Chapel Hill catered their meal and the Happiest Hostess provided the service for the catering.   Maple Spring Gardens provided their flowers, and Jen's sister Sheila (lucky them)  made their cake.   I wish them many many years of continued happiness and love that grows and deepens through all their years.

Alex and Laura Wed at The Fearrington on July 3rd

July 3rd was surprisingly cool. I've been grateful for this summer weather, and we were all especially grateful that day. It was awhile back because I had some delicious vacation in August and am now catching up. On that balmy evening I had the pleasure of marrying Alex and Laura at The Fearrington, in Chatham County on 15-501 just south of Chapel Hill.

The elegance of their wedding was matched by the elegance of their photographs taken by Logan Jarrard, of Logan Jarrard Photography. You can see more of his work for Laura and Alex on his blog. (Click on 'blog' to go straight there.)

The ceremony was held in the gazebo under the old huge Pecan tree which provided lots of welcome shade. As you can see there were chairs for two-hundred guests. Alex and Laura had grown up in Chapel Hill. Our DJ Gino, provided a microphone so that all the guests could hear every word. We also wanted to hear every note of the music played by Alex's dad and his Aunt Mary.

And Cheryl, from The Fearrington was essential in helping the day go smoothly. Thank you!


The only drawback was the pesky mosquitoes that love moist summer lawns in NC. But Alex and Laura planned for this by having small spray bottles of herbal insect repellent at a table near where guests entered. We all bathed our ankles liberally before the service.

(TIP: As a minister, I keep a bottle of this in my 'kit bag' at all times. No one wants to be distracted by mosquito bites during a ceremony.)

It was a perfect day. It was unseasonably cool on Friday July 3rd and we were all grateful. Even with this advantage though, all the guests were grateful for the wedding programs that doubled as fans. I can't speak highly of the advantage of this small hand-made breeze in our hot muggy summers. Even the famous Fearrington cows were content. We could hear them lowing now and again in the field nearby.

Alex and Laura were radiant and at ease as their ceremony approached. They'd been together for years and were surrounded by all their friends of long standing. They had met on the track team in high school and had been together ever since. And in the next month would be moving to Pennsylvania for Laura to begin medical school.

They incorporated several unique elements to their ceremony. Both Laura and Alex's parents spoke words of blessing to them in their own words. They had written love letters to each other and put them, unopened, in a box with a bottle of wine, sealing the box as part of the ceremony. It was to be opened when they needed to be reminded of their love for each other or on their twentieth anniversary, whichever came first.

I laud Alex and Laura for their relaxed manner during the ceremony. Even though I knew they were excited and eager for this day, they were surrounded by those who loved them, and they knew that nothing could go wrong that would spoil the intent of their day. They truly enjoyed their day.














Their attendants, Lisa and Nicholas, signed the licenses in the Garden Room at The Fearrington while everyone was cooling down a moment before pictures. During this time the guests made their way down to the barn.

After the ceremony, and after pictures of the wedding party, Logan Jarrard Alex and Laura to another of the wonderful lawns at The Fearrington for some pictures while all the guests enjoyed the cool of The Barn and refreshments before the reception.

Don't let the name confuse, you. You can tell by the elegance of the setting that the barn is now anything but a barn. But the stalls for the dairy cows are still intact in the hall as you enter this elegant setting.


I wish them many blessings as they begin this new adventure in their lives together!