Emmy and I communicated only by phone and email so it was a special treat to meet Steve, Emmy and their children and dog, Odie, at The Raleigh Rose Garden on their wedding day, June 11th at 10am. The only other two in our small group were Thad, their photographer, a friend of Emmy's from her work and a professional photographer, and his wife who generously helped from the background. We gathered in a small circle in a sunny and rosy spot - just us with Odie carrying in the ring in a small bag around his neck. I loved the intimacy of it and it fit them.
We created a unique ceremony honoring the joining of these two special families: Emmy with her two daughters and Steve with his one son.
Special to their wedding was the 'Wedding Prayer' by Robert Lewis Stevenson which goes: 'Lord, behold our family here assembled. We thank you for this place in which we dwell, for the love that unites us, for the peace accorded us this day, for the hope with which we expect the morrow, for the health, the work, the food, and the bright skies that make our lives delightful; for our friends in all parts of the earth. Amen.'
They each wrote vows to the children that were sweet and personal and then presented small tokens of family to each child and which fit each child.This is a family already, in spirit, love for each other, and in joy at the love of their parents. There was much laughter after the ceremony.
and some great additional kisses by Steve and Emmy. I came home on that Thursday morning as they went on to lunch and celebration. I loved being a part of their lives at this special time and seeing the devotion, love, respect, and sense of joy each member of that combined family have for each other. What a treat!
Some couples have a playfulness that is irrepressible. That's Ryan and Tarrah. You can see their delight in each other. They are that way every time I meet them.
Tarrah's an art teacher in Wake County (great paintings!) and Ryan's a software engineer. They met at Elon when they lived on the same hall and shared some friends who'd been Ryan's friends from high school. But that was almost ten years ago. And it's been a great almost 10 years. They feel that each other are so easy to love and they've taken their time to deepen their love.
I enjoyed the story they told me about how Ryan proposed during year 8: They were getting ready to go out to see A Chorus Line in Raleigh and out to dinner beforehand. As Tarrah puts it, 'He'd been acting fishy and nervous'. Ryan had a challenge. Tarrah loves surprises but she's hard to surprise because she's so observant. But he succeeded - going down on one knee to officially propose.
Robin Lin was the superb photographer for that day at The Fearrington. She's always a joy to work with. Here's their first kiss as husband and wife. I try to get out of the way so the photographer can crop me from the picture pretty easily.
I love this shot of Ryan taking a quick look at his ring on his hand when, at the end, they're facing their family and friends for the first time. I think a friend or family member captured this moment.
All their friends and family at the wedding went out of their way to tell me what a great couple they are. And since Tarrah loves surprises, Ryan didn't tell her where they were going for their honeymoon but just what to pack. I found out later that they went to St. Lucia and had a great time. Great pick, Ryan!The Fearrington, Cheryl guiding the day, was at it's best keeping us cool...
and providing bug spray to keep away the mosquitoes that love their lush lawn. This is only one of several possible ceremony sites there, but since I don't often do weddings in this spot, I wanted to make sure you saw how wonderful it is.
I could get these shots of the ceremony site before the ceremony started though.Oh - I'll add a couple pictures of The Barn where they had their reception, and I'll add one of their cake, also made by The Fearrington. I'm not sure if they have pictures like these on The Fearrington website. After the heat and bright sun of the day, the cool dark is soothing. The outside of the barn below is where cocktails were served while Tarrah and Ryan were having wedding pictures taken.
Here's the inside. 
And, of course, here's their cake. The spring green matches Ryan's tie. As a person who does fabric art and who loves color, I loved that part.
The excellent ceremony music was provided by Arioso Strings (they're always great), and the music for their reception was by Groovetown Band. Their videographer was Island Sound DJ and Video.Tarrah sent me wonderful thanks and some pictures on Facebook. But I use it so rarely that I can't figure out how to get back to those great words. Some day soon........I like being her friend on Facebook though. When I see her postings and pictures of her and Ryan, it brings me back to their wedding day and their love and I feel great. I so love what I do!
La Residence in Chapel Hill, fondly known at La Rez, was the joyous scene of Martha and Koen's wedding on June 26th at 11am. A perfect time for a lunch reception. They met over two years ago in Chapel Hill and took their time, knowing what they felt between them was special and not wanting to mess it up.
They share a joy of life and the arts and a wonderful awareness of the precious gift that love can be. I was delighted for them. They wanted their friends and family to feel secure in the knowing that their love would last and that it is right, and they wanted their ceremony to radiate this. They had both faced some rough years and difficult losses but they had weathered them and found that life opened up to new and wonderful love on the other side of their sorrow. They were ready to celebrate this amazing grace of their love for each other.
Graham Terhune Photography was our wonderful photographer. He provided some of these photos. The good ones. The others I took when I had the chance. You'll be able to tell the difference.
And here's a picture of Graham taking a picture of Koen, his brother, and his best man.
The staff at La Rez was fabulous! It's a wonderful setting for about 50 people. The staff at La Rez operated the IPOD for the prelude and ceremony music and went out of their way to ensure that everything they could do to help make things perfect was done.
And from the restaurant on the right:
I remember years ago when I did a ceremony here. The couple I was marrying played in a klezmer band that also played for the wedding. It was wonderful and the place rocked. It's an indoor outdoor space that can take on lots of different personalities. It's cooled by ceiling fans so you get rain protection but you do have the heat. After the ceremony everyone got cool inside, then had a delicious lunch.
This beautiful and delicious cake topped with fresh cherries was from Miel Bon bons in Carrboro.
The fresh lavender that Martha carried, and that was the decoration at the ceremony site, and that guests threw on the couple as they recessed, was provided by Sunshine Lavender Farm in Hurdle Mills (in Northern Orange County just north of Hillsborough). I hadn't known they were there. Now I'm glad I do.
We put the following in their ceremony, and these words fit them so well: 'Today we honor this seasoned love that brings together two mature people whose experiences have shaped them to recognize the grace of love that is peaceful, trusting, and rich in sharing - a love that will continue to grow and deepen through each new discovery and adventure - a love that will last a lifetime.'
Their joy radiated from them. I felt blessed to be a part of it on this special day.
It was a rainy day. There was nothing we could do about it. We went from Plan A, where the wedding would be held at the bottom of the meadow in front of a wonderful trellis that Nick that built. To Plan B, where so many wonderful friends and guests moved all the chairs and the trellis to the top of the meadow, to Plan C where we held the wedding upon the covered deck of the building and we could see the trellis in the distance. This June was an especially blustery one!And it was still a beautiful wedding!That's because Adrienne and Nick are such loving open hearted people that nothing really could rain on their day.They've been together 7 years of which 4 were spent long distance. They met at NC state their freshman year. They were surrounded my so many family and friends who are so devoted to them that most didn't even hesitate to brave the heavy mist to move the ceremony site from that for Plan A to Plan B to Plan C. I trust that the dancing went well into the night to the music of the Possum Jenkins Band. Thank you too to Lacey Gadwill, the photographer for the wedding who managed to get fabulous pictures despite all our difficulties.I have to laud Julie and her staff at The Aqueduct Center. They were troopers and did everything with good grace and a smile.They wanted to personalize their vows to address all they'd been through - long distance times, house remodeling and foot surgery. They told me that they'd broken up 4 years ago and then made a conscious decision to commit and they had lived up to it realizing that they are better with each other than they are without each other, and that they are willing to make the sacrifices that are needed for two very different people to both have rich, full and loving lives.They are a couple who is grounded and sure in their love. In their vows to each other they had the sentence, 'I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward, for as long as we both shall live.' And I don't doubt it a minute. There's an old adage that says that a wet knot is harder to untie. It was fun to remember it on that day.When they got back from their honeymoon I got this message from them:'We really appreciated everything you did for us that weekend. You were so flexible and really helped bring peace and calm to a slightly hectic situation. And we had a blast! We will definitely send pictures when we get them from Lacey. Thanks again for everything!"And I thank them. They were a treat to get to know! This is why I love my work.
Mari and Phil's wedding was wonderful. It was hot on May 22nd but no one really noticed too much because we were having so much fun. And we were really lucky with the weather because the blustery driving storms that night didn't role in until about 7PM.
We'd had a bit of a scare the day before. Mari, our bride, had been feeling too ill to come to the rehearsal, but made it as we were finishing up. This was my first rehearsal ever without a bride, so I was glad to see her for help with all those last minute decisions that need to be made, and especially glad to see that she was feeling better.
Mari added a unique touch to the processional which symbolized her independent spirit. She started down the aisle with her mother, then came a little way with her father, but then went the remainder of the way by herself, to meet with Phil at the bottom of the steps.
She and Phil had had their first date at Duke Gardens by the fish pond so this place was especially meaningful to them. They met in NC but Mari is from New Jersey and Phil is from Long Island and their accents were a sweet reminder of my years spent in North Jersey.
Phil and Mari worked really hard to create a ceremony that fit who they are. They'd chosen lyrics from the song 'We Are' by Sweet Honey and The Rock to honor their loved ones who couldn't be with them at the ceremony. The words were touching and memorable.I loved their playfulness in another way, too. They had chosen the Love Letter, Bottle of Wine and Box ritual in which a bride and groom each write love letters to each other that the other hasn't yet read and these letters are sealed them in a box with a bottle of wine. They are invited to open the box, read the letters and drink the wine in the future when they need to remember how much they love each other. But Mari and Phil added their own touch, using a bottle of whiskey instead of wine and a Tiffany's box. It fit their playfulness and we all loved it.
Thanks to Megan Kime for these great photos and to Second Shift a wonderful acapella group who sang two numbers in close harmony before the ceremony.
The universe only brings me wonderful couples! I was delighted to marry Caleb and Melanie on June 6th, 2010 at the Castle McCulloch in Jamestown, NC.
I met Melanie and Caleb way back in October of 2009. They were moving to Asheville in December so needed to get lots of their planning done early. They'd met at UNC Asheville through mutual friends and found that they shared not only their sense of humor but their political views, their love of playing board games and puzzles and their pets - 2 cats and 2 chinchillas.
They wanted a marriage ceremony which showed their commitment to each other and their love of their large combined family. They're both from Southern families with similar backgrounds (both their mom teach in public schools) and they share the same expectations about life and kids. I loved their thoughtfulness. And their ceremony was lovely and touching because of it.
Castle McCulloch is lovely itself, so even entering the ceremony site humbled you with it's sturdy stone walls and ornate woodwork. The formality that Melanie and Caleb desired was perfect in this location. The St. Charles String Quartet played the music for the ceremony masterfully, and Clarke Carriker played the harp during the lighting of the unity candle.
Melanie had found this unique unity candle on EBAY. I loved it and wanted everyone to see the picture because it's so lovely. I wish my photo hadn't had so much glare.
They also followed the ancient tradition of Hand Fasting and instead of using one cord in which we tie many knots, we used several colors of ribbon, each ribbon tied with only one knot as they affirmed their binding promises. I tied the last ribbon through all the prior ribbons so they made one unit together. It was lovely. Then we said, 'Though these ribbons no longer bind you, the bonds of matrimony still tie you together. May your love find lasting permanence, bound together in the fabric of life. May the protection of your marriage surround you, sustain you and comfort you. In the biding of these ribbons, may you remember the binding of your words, the vow of fidelity and trust you make today. May your lived be bound together, never to be torn asunder.'The castle was full to the brim with guests and musicians and it was an especially warm afternoon, so I'm grateful to Randy Smith, Your Personal DJ, for his help with his sound system to which we attached my receiver. It was a critical element in such a long deep setting so full of people. But everything went wonderfully and as I left to come home I could see that they were relaxing more and getting ready for the next step in their celebrations. I'm delighted for them and their friends and family, who all cheered them on through the rehearsal, the wedding preparations and the wedding.I wish them many blessings.
From June 27th to July 14th my Sweetheart, Ruben, and I took a road trip logging 4000 miles on the car. We headed north up to Falling Water, the Frank Lloyd Wright house built over a stream in southern PA, still farther north through Niagara Falls (getting suitably wet on the Maid of the Mist boat) and then still farther north into Canada.Neither of us had ever been to Canada so we hit some high points with a few days in Toronto, then Montreal and then Quebec City before heading to Nova Scotia for some camping and hiking. After that it was back to the US to Bar Harbor, Maine, Cape Cod, Mt. Vernon, then home.Weddings were far from my mind until one day we emerged from the subway in downtown Montreal heading toward its Old Town right on the St. Lawrence River. On a street corner we passed a newly married couple who had just come out of their marriage ceremony. They kindly nodded when Ruben asked with a gesture if he could take their picture.They had that radiant glow and generous spirit of a 'just married' couple much in love, surrounded by friends and family. So we simply snapped our photo, and silently wished them many blessings, as we continued on our way, holding hands, enveloped in their love.
Tim and Cheri wanted to get married at home. And home was their new 'old' farmstead north of Mebane. The way they described it I pictured someplace that really needed work. They said they'd been working on it but it needed so much more ... and that the out buildings were in the shape they were when they bought it. I pictured someplace really rough, kind of like their sign below, but nothing could be farther from the truth. The house had the solid Craftsman construction feel to it that needed a sampler that said 'Home Sweet Home' over the fireplace. It also had a newly renovated kitchen which they did themselves!
Their wedding day, however, had started with unexpected water. Not from a rainstorm, though a storm and 60 mph winds had blown trees down in our yards and lots of shingles off our roof just the night before. Tim and Cheri had a leak in their AC system over their dining room and the ceiling had just about collapsed. And with guests coming only a few hours later, their day had already been full to overflowing. :-)
They are family people, with two sons in their teens. Johnathan and Owen, and daughter 24, Cassie and her husband Ben, and nieces Nadine, Kate and Emily as their flower girls. Parents and siblings were there as much as possible, and Cheri's sister Julie, even sang the processional and recessional acapella with a sweet true voice that shimmered. Tim and Cheri offered their vows to each other from their heart without any written copy to rely on. They had thought them out and then spoke from their heart. I love it when couples give themselves permission to do this, and it's brave. I don't know if I could. I'd be nervous and that nervousness would make me uncomfortable. There is so much you want to say. You can't say it all. I respect the choice that each couple makes to decide what's best for them about saying their vows to each other.
Cheri and Tim also said vows to their children, again off the top of their head. We introduced those vows with these words: "It is the desire of Tim and Cheri to extend their commitments to each other to include their sons and promises they make to them. The gathering of this new family will have a deep influence upon them.It will both complicate and enrich their lives. They will also have much to contribute to this new family. We realize that in order for the home to be a happy one, it’s essential that our sons know our commitment to them and to this family.We offer those words of promise, as powerful as a marriage bond, now to them."
We all loved their kiss, especially Cheri's daughter Cassie there with her husband, Ben.
After getting the license witnessed by each of their fathers, Art and James, I left them all in a tent on their lawn as the food came out and the partying began. I could tell that Cheri and Tim had a group of warm and loving friends and family. It was a delight to see.I was glad to feel this solid and loving family all around me and glad they have each other.
What a blessing! I can't think of anything more to wish them ... except maybe no more leaks in the AC.
The first time I met Victorial and Angelo was right before their ceremony. Sometime life works that way and I have to thank Life and The Divine for bringing such wonderful people to me.
Victorial and Angelo had a very small wedding - small in numbers of guests but not small in spirit. Victorial's two sisters were there with their partners, and Angelo's mother was there, and delightfully Victorial and Angelo's two children. They also had Raleigh photographer Tina Loebach who took these wonderful pictures and many many more all over the arboretum.
You can see their beautiful daughter. Their son is an infant in a stroller who was remarkably calm despite the heat of the day. They had wanted a lovely setting that was inexpensive and I was able to suggest the JC Raulston Arboretum which they loved. I'd only had phone conversations with Victorial to plan the ceremony so was surprised by the graceful and beautiful woman I encountered in the parking lot, her dress swirling around her in the spring breeze. Gathering everyone up there, we then made our way to the gazebo. Which if you haven't seen it, is in a small clearing perfect for a small wedding. This was a Friday morning, which was probably why we could find it free on such a great day.
I felt especially fond of Victorial and Angelo because Angelo and his mother communicate in Spanish, and she communicates in Spanish to the children, too. My Sweetheart Ruben was born in Cuba and came to the US when Castro finally and completely closed the border. He and his mother still prefer to speak Spanish to each other. My daughter is bilinqual in Spanish, too. It's such a wonderful gift to give your children, if you can. (Unfortunately, my Spanish stays at a rusty beginner level.)
Victorial and Angelo chose a classic ceremony which fit their style and their busy lives raising two beautiful children.
I wish them all the best and I know their memories and their pictures from this simple yet wonderfully sweet wedding will stay with them forever.
It was great to hear from Nikki and Derek. Time goes so quickly that I'd forgotten all about their wonderful wedding and the pictures and thank you they sent to me brought it all back. Nikki told me that they'd had an online picture disaster when combining the nearly 2000 wedding pictures from various picture takers onto one online repository. Somehow the numbers and labels were lost and they had to redo every single picture's label. Yikes! Hence the posting to their wedding blog now.I loved their wedding. Nikki and Derek are both really loving people and most of all I remember their peaceful and gentle energy. And I remember their beautiful ceremony.Their wedding took place at Rock Quarry Farm out I-54 just west of Chapel Hill. I've officiated at weddings there in both rain and shine and it shimmers in simple beauty in all occasions. They had their ceremony on the grassy area right next to the barn, and their reception in a tent next to the house. Camille is always there to help, with whatever logistics need support,too.
Derek and Nikki had a sunny day, and not too hot day. We were all grateful.
They had an especially lovely welcome of their guests. I've written and adapted text so often over the last 15 years to reflect the couple as I know them that they each take on a little different nuance. For Nikki and Derek, we said: 'Each of you has accompanied them in some way on their journey and will continue to embrace and support them as they embark on this newest aspect of their lives. Their new relationship as husband and wife will continue to draw much of its beauty and meaning from their associations with all of you who join with them today. So we invite you to the joyful task and privilege of participating in their ceremony. We’ll pause for a moment for you to arrive, not only in body, but in spirit and love - to hold Derek and Nikki in the matrix of that love as they take this joyful step into their married life. They also called upon the four directions in a blessing that I won't add here, but you can ask me for at any time.
They evoked the beautiful words of the Song of Songs from the Hebrew Bible, which says: "Bind me as a seal upon thine arm, As a seal upon thine heart; For love is as strong as death, Mightier than the grave. The darts of love are darts of fire, furious flames; Many waters cannot quench love, Nor floods devour it."
The littlest of our two flower girls wanted to be held by her mother. I always love it when that happens. It just shows the wonderful connections we have to each other, and how they trump formalities. Ritual is real and living and is made to honor the profound connections of love and caring we have with each other. Weddings with small children and grandparents and great grandparents apparent and loved show that with so eloquently. We pronounced their marriage with the words of Shakespeare from “Twelfth Night”: Attested by the holy close of lips, Strength’ned by interchangement of your rings And all the ceremony of this compact Seal’d in my function, by my testimony... we rejoice to recognize you as husband and wife.Their friend Toni Ruth then offered a prayer for for their marriage.
For a final benediction we all participated. The responses of the guests was written in their program and are the words in parentheses below:May you, Derek and Nikki, be a blessing and comfort to each other, sharers of each others’ dreams, consoler to each others’ sorrows, helpers to each other in all of life’s vicissitudes. (We wish you blessing and comfort) May you encourage each other in what ever you set out to achieve. (We wish you encouragement) May you trust each other, trust life and be unafraid. (We wish you trust) May you love each other and offer love and support to those around you. (We wish you love) May your way be blessed, may wisdom’s light shine upon you, may your journey bring you peace. (We wish you wisdom and peace.)
Rock Quarry Farm had both the old farm house feel and the modern inn feel. This front of the house was perfect for a family picture. Here is the work in progress with the photographer. (I apologize for not remembering his name.)
And here's the finished product!This weekend in June 2010 was a stressful one with both weddings needing to be moved inside at the last minute to avoid everyone getting drenched by rain. It felt like a burst of sunshine to get Nikki and Derek's thanks from so long ago. They wrote: 'Thank you! The service was perfect and so many people from many walks all told us they felt like they took part in something holy. Bless you and thank you.' I thank you both, too! Your pictures and words bring a smile to my heart!
On May 1st, Kelly and Dean were wed at Crenshaw Hall in Wake Forest. They were wise in so many ways in their planning. Somehow they knew it would be hot, so asked guests to wear Hawaiian attire. Everyone was grateful and cool. And I'm so glad for Dean. You don't often see grooms in comfortable attire.
There were also wonderful professionals helping them keep their day as stress free as possible. Kara Zuehlke and Laura Sandwick from A Southern Soiree were wonderful planners, Lynn Harris, their professional photographer, took this great shot. (The rest are my shots of Crenshaw Hall that I got while I wasn't busy marrying Dean and Kelly), their florist was Venetia Genztler, their awesome cake was by Swank Cake Design in Cary, and their DJ was Damien Maass from DJ Joe Bunn DJ,s.
Everyone was set for a good time.
Here's the side yard at Crenshaw Hall set up for their ceremony. We all processed from the house. The only drawback to their location was the road construction nearby. Nothing that affected their day, but it took me about 10 extra minutes to figure out how to find the parking lot.
Here is a photo of the yard on the other side of the house where folks were having cocktails after the ceremony.
Dean and Kelly met at Halloween in 2005 but didn't know it. They were at the same party, but, of course, were in costume. Then they really met the next February and shortly thereafter just knew they were with the right person.
They love to go to amusement parks each year for Dean's birthday so we made a mention of the ups and downs of their relationship in the ceremony, but then added that these were mostly on Dean's birthday on the rides at the parks.
Families mean a lot to both of them. We included that in their ceremony, too describing how they love each others' family, as well as their own and that in itself is wonderful to celebrate in a marriage.
They wanted their wedding and reception to be relaxed, casual, and a wonderful party. And it was. This is a couple who love to play and I'm delighted that they chose this for their wedding, too.
There was an easy elegance to the table settings inside the Hall. And, then there was that wonderful cake!
Here's another shot from Lynn Harris' blog that gives you a feel for the couple and the place.
Dean and Kelly were a couple that wanted a short sweet ceremony. And with well chosen words, we created just that.
I wish them a long sweet marriage with more ups than downs, and the downs only at amusement parks.
This was Friday evening July 23rd and it was pushing 100 degrees. We were all so hot yet I'm amazed at how wonderful these shots of Barbara and Nick turned out. Thank you to Michelle Gunton Photography for these fabulous pictures. Now I can see why she says that she always prefers outdoor weddings, no matter how hot it is. Of course as soon as the wedding began, even though it was still warm, we all pushed those thoughts from our minds and just concentrated on the joy of seeing Barbara and Nick so happy and in love. 
Garrett, from Lenny Fritts DJ, set up for the ceremony music. The parents were seated to 'Con Te Partiro' which was really beautiful. I have to remember that one. Then the traditional and equally wonderful Purcell's Trumpet Voluntary and Pachelbel's Canon in D were played for the wedding party and Barbara's entrance. 
Nick and Barbara wanted a classic wedding and it had that elegant simplicity and beauty. Even the words for the exchange of their rings, 'I give you this ring in token and pledge of my constant faith and abiding love' were touching in their purity.
As we said in a final benediction of blessing upon their marriage, 'May God bless you and keep you. The peace of the Lord we with you. Congratulations! Go in peace.'
