Katherine and Greg Don't Let the Rain Dampen Their Wedding

Katherine and Greg had planned so thoroughly and carefully for their wedding at The Barn at Valhalla in Chapel Hill that it almost seemed impossible for storms to thunder through on their wedding day.  But they did.  And it was with this that I got to see just how resilient and gracious they are, how wonderful their friends and family are when you need them, how great their photographer was, and how flexible the Barn at Valhalla is as a venue.

I arrived just as the decision was being made to move the wedding from the beautifully decorated deck to the covered deck adjacent to the barn itself.  This new deck was narrower, all the chairs needed to be moved, and if there were willing hands, decorations needed to be moved, too.  And there were willing hands.  Lots of them.  Under Greg's amazing calm with questions being thrown at him left and right, it all got done.  Even to the gentle removal of a black snake who decided that the deck was a much more desirable place to hang out than the wet ground.


The Elegant Ensembles musicians were also wonderfully flexible as they set up at the back of the deck and we figured out all new cues.  They also played beautifully!  


All came into focus - even with our finding a place for Julia Wade, of Julia Wade Photography our truly amazing photographer to sit so that she would have a line of sight during the ceremony.  Then..... as our Matron of Honor was entering down the stairs during the processional we discover that the black snake has rejoined us on the deck on the railing right behind the wedding party.  In full view of everyone.  Gratefully, our sexton gently moved him to the ground, about 15 feet below the deck again, (see below) and our snake got the message that time.  Whew! And we were all very appreciative.

Then the celebration began in earnest with the entrance of Katherine and her father.  

In their ceremony we spoke of how marriage is a conscious choice every moment, each day, to know that love takes many forms requiring us to grow as individuals and partner, growing in compassion, understanding and joy.  Greg and  Katherine were growing right before my eyes, letting go of the disappointment of the wedding they had envisioned, celebrating the unique wedding they were having, and cherishing every moment.


As a couple they love to share new experiences and have embraced bicycle riding, swing dancing and were soon to leave on their honeymoon to Europe.  We spoke of how the world awaits them and in this moment I saw that they would embrace it, and their life together.

Julie Liles of Julie Liles Floral Event Design created Katherine's gorgeous bouquet.  Little did they know that it would add such a joyful splash of color against the soft greys of the rainy day.

Their whole wedding had wonderful color to it and I understand that the reception was a rousing and jubilant success with dancing inside the Barn and eating outside catered by Tom Meyer of Q-Shack in Raleigh.

Cinda of Cinda's Creative Cakes created this masterpiece.  She does such beautiful work.

Thank you Julia Wade for these beautiful shots.

When they got back from their honeymoon I got this wonderful note from them:
'Greg and I want to send you a huge thank you for being a part of our wedding ceremony. We received many compliments on our ceremony, on the pace, on the intimate feeling, and we owe it all to you. Our 'guest book' pages had a place for people to describe and draw a picture of their favorite part of the evening - and many people wrote that the ceremony was their favorite. the re-giving of the engagement ring and the wine box were also popular, and of course, so was the snake!! In the face of pouring rain, and cramped, last minute ceremony space, and our snake visitor, we could not have asked for a better officiant to handle the situation. We simply can't thank you enough!! '


It was a delight to marry them.  I wish them many many blessings.

Nathan and Stacy Marry at The Barn At Valhalla

At the end of March I officiated Nathan and Stacy's wedding at The Barn at Valhalla.  We had one of those wonderful moments where we were between rain storms on that weekend, and the skies were clear and the rains held off until everyone was safely inside at the reception.  We all breathed a sigh of relief!  It's a wonderful venue and we could have had the ceremony under the covered area on the deck of the barn but it was nice that we didn't have to.

Thank you to Adam Mowery, their photographer for their portrait above. 

I loved Nathan and Stacy.  Nathan has a wry sense of humor and Stacy has a wonderfully warm and open demeanor.  They were both playful and joyful whenever I saw them and I knew that they would enjoy their wedding.  And they did!


All the rest of these pictures were taken by the excellent DJ for the day, Patrick Pless, from Those Guys DJ.  It's a treat for me to be able to ask someone who has a great vantage point who's not a guest.  And I loved the music they chose.  It set a sweet tone.   

 'When I'm 64' for the seating of the grandparents.  'Time After Time' by Miles Davis for Nathan and I to enter. 'In My Life' by the Beatles for the seating of the parents.  

 Enya's 'Only Time' for the attendants to enter and 'The Bridal March' by Jonathan Cain for Stacy to enter.  

 They chose very expressive vows to say to each other:

'You are my best friend and life’s companion,

I promise to live life to the fullest  with you,

I promise to earn your respect and to offer you respect,

I promise to laugh with you and to make you laugh,

I promise to stand with you in times of joy, uncertainty, and grief,

I promise to be completely present with you.

From this day forward, I promise to explore life with you.'

 Then their recessional was 'Three Little Birds' by Bob Marley.

It was the perfect music for that setting.  

 I got this note from Stacy after they returned from their honeymoon.  "I realized later in all the hub bub I didn't get to say good bye to you and thank you in person for everything.  We were focused on running upstairs to toast each other and say our private congratulations and then once we got summoned for pictures it was all very fast moving from that moment forward.  It was really a great wedding though, just what we envisioned and filled with many great memories!  Thanks again for being such a calming presence.  By Friday, I was much more frazzled than I thought I would be!'  

It's a great reminder to me to tell the couple not to worry about remembering anything that happened at the rehearsal.  I'll guide them through everything.


I wish them the best of everything and a wonderful marriage!

Thomas and Rebecca Marry at The Barn at Valhalla

You can tell the couples that are sincerely devoted to each other and that have been through life experiences which have deepened their trust and friendship. I felt that strongly with Rebecca and Thomas. Two very different people, he seems to have a perpetual twinkle in his eyes, and she seems to be one of the aspects of life that puts it there.

In their ceremony on Oct 16th, we described their love as friendship caught fire in 2005. Since then they have traveled in distant countries in which Thomas had to rely on Rebecca's fluency in Arabic and Rebecca had to rely on Thomas' keen sense of observation, they've moved from Washington D.C. to settle and buy a home in Durham, and they have planned all the many logistics of their wedding at The Barn at Valhalla in Chapel Hill, NC.

The Barn at Valhalla has lots of great sites for a ceremony, but this is a fall favorite since it's so surrounded by trees and the fireplace is such a wonderful backdrop. That's a pond further back in the pictures.

It's a great place and I've been there often. And once again, it did not fail to inspire. You can tell by the wonderful photographs that photographers Melissa and Stephen Carter from Two Carters Photos Photography in Washington, D.C. captured for the couple. They loved coming down to our Autumn beauty and said they'd come down again if asked.

Jim Baird and Jane Peppler gave us wonderful fiddle and strings music which fit the outdoor fall atmosphere. They played one of my favorites, 'Ashokan Farewell' as the last song while guests were being seated and 'Chelmsford House' for the recessional as well as the more traditional 'Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring' and 'Purcell's Voluntary' for the processional. Live fiddle music is such a treat and NC has such a tradition of good musicians.

These two have played at many weddings at which I've officiated and always been a great asset in making the day sing. Jane and another musician also play klezmer music at other weddings. They're equally wonderful at that, too.

Their friends read wonderful poetry, then I got to read 'Blessing for a Marriage' by James Dillet Freeman which is exquisitely beautiful. I always love it when a couple want that blessing. We also passed their rings through their guests, each guest offering a silent blessing upon their marriage. I was of course concerned that the rings drop from the beautiful wooden box in which they were displayed, but everyone else must have been concerned, too, because they made it back to me, and then to their hands in find style.

Rebecca and Thomas have learned how to be there for each other - caring, supporting and listening. They are adults who know themselves and their desires, grounded and sure.

They had friends, family, and professionals who all enjoyed their thoughtfulness. And Rebecca and Thomas wanted to make sure that I recognized their contributions to their wedding, too. Below are their creative favors by M.Z or emdotzee Designs. They also did their invitations and other printed materials.

This gorgeous cake was from Miel Bon Bons Patisserie et Confiserie in Chapel Hill.


They held their reception in the barn and were fed by Durham Catering. Their flowers were by Rachel Preston of Preston Landscapes. Hair and make up by
Hair and Make-up - Claudia Gunn of Haven Beauty Sanctuary Salon.

I was glad that Thomas and Rebecca had a few moments alone before the reception. There were so many well wishers and I knew the day would go so quickly. The Barn is a good place to get a few moments just for yourselves.

They're a very loving couple, rich in spirit and with generous hearts. I wish them all the best that life holds - spending time with their dog Stanley and all those they love.

Grace and Alex at Valhalla

Alex and Grace got married at Valhalla, seemingly right out of Norse legend. But that's its official name of The Barn at Valhalla, just off Highway 54 west of Chapel Hill. On October 10th it fulfilled its promise to become a glorious spot for Alex and Grace to marry. And it was a joyful occasion.

The weather was iffy all that week. We were all checking the Doppler images daily. But it cleared up just in time to be a gorgeous early fall afternoon. Maybe it was because Alex and Grace were beaming so broadly that they created sunshine themselves. In the leafy canopy and crisp air, it felt like we were in a magical glade.


All the fabulous photographs you see here were taken by Robin Lin of Robin Lin Photography. You'll see more pictures by her on several other of my blog entries (Tim and Caroline, Kate and Jay), and on my home page of my web-site. She is always a joy to work with, captures all those moments you don't want to forget, and has the most amazing eye for color and composition. I can't recommend her highly enough. But then her work speaks for her better than any words.

Grace and Alex provided lots of small touches for others to smile at, too. Besides the ceremony they had snapshots of their dog, from various angles, on each table for the reception. These pictures also included the number for each table. They wanted their puppy with them on their wedding day and this was the best way, given his exuberance, to manage it. They also had Wedding Mad Libs at each place setting for an ice breaker (ask Robin about these, she has a copy), and a photo booth replete with funny hats and boas for some especially camp moments. And of course great dancing DJed by 1st Carolina DJs.

But everyone delighted first in the ceremony. Emily, their three year old flower girl captured everyone's heart while she was entering to 'Melloncollie and The Infinite Sadness' by Smashing Pumpkins.






Then everyone rose as Grace entered with her mother, Barbara, to the strains of 'Glasgow Love Theme.' This is the advantage of recorded music. You can really tailor it just to you.








The stunning flowers carried by Grace and her Bride's Maids were created by Tre Bella Florist in Durham, just matching her colors of brown and red.








Grace and Alex had a Quaker-like ceremony that included words of love and affirmation from several friends and family members, each one speaking from the heart. One also read the wonderful poem, 'Oh, The Places You'll Go, by Dr. Seuss, which was wonderfully appropriate for a wedding, and especially their wedding.

They spoke vows in their own words to each other that captured their personalities and their joy in their love for each other..

They exchanged rings with the words: 'With this ring, I join my life with yours. I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine.' Then I got to say, with gusto, 'You may now smooch your bride' and Alex did - to much applause.

This heartfelt ceremony was made more so by the loving words of dear friends and family and the complete delight that Alex and Grace were taking in the occasion. Notice that the Hindu God, Ganesha, and Grace's grandparents both looked down upon them from the stone mantle of the fireplace. Many blessings were showered upon them this day from many directions.

They left the ceremony to the song, 'Feeling Good' by Nina Simone. And we were all feeling good for them.

It's always a good sign for a marriage when a couple knows how to claim the joy in their lives and in the love of their family and friends. I'm happy for them!

Andy and Farrah at The Barn at Valhalla in Carrboro, NC

On August 15th I had the privilege of marrying Farrah and Andy. I had been involved in their planning more than with most other couples, encouraging them to check our The Barn at Valhalla (just outside of Chapel Hill off highway 54 west) when they were looking for sites that might not already be booked already for their desired Saturday. And they were delighted with The Barn which seemed perfect for their needs.

There's a large sloping lawn, ......












A large paneled lodge house with bedrooms upstairs that look like it could be a NC version of an Aspen ski lodge and a lovely large deck for cocktails.

The day was warm so the guests were provided with those wonderful fans that show up at summer weddings. I'm a fan of them (Oh, bad pun!) but they do make the difference between warm and hot.

Farrah and Andy met in Thailand and grew their love on both sides of the Pacific Ocean. It was great that her father and sister could be here for her wedding. She had a simple bouquet of summer wild flowers which beautifully offset her elegant dress. The wildflowers came from Andy's parent's yard and the yard of their friends, Bob and Brenda Vance. Bob and Brenda also arranged the bouquets.







Grace was their flower girl. She and her family are special friends of Farrah's. And our ring bearer was carrying a special pillow made from Thai silk, fashioned by Andy's mother. It's a good thing he wasn't carrying the real rings!






















During the ceremony their friends read poetry of their own choosing which was light spirited about how they imagined each one of them would be in marriage.










Then after their exchange of vows and rings we had a special ceremony that was part of the tradition of her part of northeastern Thailand, called ' Isaan.' The ceremony is called 'pook khan.' (phonetically in English that is), and it symbolizes the welcoming of the new member of the family. It signifies congratulations and the unity of the new family being created.

It's performed by tying a cotton thread around Andy's and Farrah's wrists. The thread came from Farrah's home town of Khon Kaen and was brought by her father just for this purpose. We invited each of the members of Andy's and Farrah's families to come forward and each tie a thread around both their wrists and when doing so, offer them either a silent or verbal blessing. It was a softly spoken ceremony full of joy accompanied by delightful fiddle music provided by family friends, Jani and Buddy. (You can see the simple cotton thread bracelets in this picture from their reception.)


Their recessional music was ragtime. It seemed wonderfully upbeat and fitting for their day. All their ceremonial music was provided by Melissa, Andy's aunt who is a professional musician in Ohio with Bella Musica Columbus. She played the electric keyboard, which worked with the help of a looooong cord.




I was amazed at this picture and hoped that the wedding party didn't need to do this often. But by the men wearing suits they were much more comfortable than in formal wear, which doesn't breathe at all in the heat. Somehow I think this one was before, not after the one above.

The wonderful pictures were all taken by Andy's friend, Rand Harcz. He's also a professional photographer. We thank him!




The General Store in Pittsboro did the wonderful catering and the cake for the reception, and Jorgie Brown from The General Store was the wedding organizer for the day. She was a huge help in so many ways.

It was good to recently hear that Farrah's paperwork to stay in this country is going well. I wish them both a wonderful life.