Jamil and Nasrin Have an Intimate Family Wedding at The Fearrington

 I love North Carolina in December when we have a beautiful day that isn't too hot.  The day was perfect for Jamil and Nasrin for their small outdoor wedding at The Fearrington Inn in their courtyard with the fountain.  Thank you to Gil and Christy Rosado at RGB Insight Photography for permission to use these wonderful photographs.  And, of course, thanks to Jamil and Nasrin for sending them to me.  I understand that Gil and Christy created a blog fo them that has many more wonderful pictures.   Thanks, too, to Cheryl Anne Kast at The Fearrington for her wonderful coordination.

 I loved getting to know Jamil and Nasrin.  Jamil contacted me first and I liked him immediately on the phone.  Then I found out that they were going to the Napa Valley for a pre-honeymoon (when they could get the time off from their busy schedules) and we started talking about The Bay Area, my home for many years.  I relished knowing that they would be having a wonderful time at places that I loved.  They had no wedding party so the small table behind me was perfect to hold Nasrin's bouquet while she and Jamil held hands.

 They lit a candle in memory of those who had passed on and wrote beautiful words themselves to honor these loved ones:  'Although death has separated us physically, faith and love has bound us eternally.  Though we cannot see you, we know that you are here.  Though we cannot touch you, we feel the warmth of your smile as we begin this new chapter in our lives.  Today we pause to reflect upon those who have shaped our character, and molded our spirit and touched our hearts. (PAUSE)

May the lighting of this candle be a reminder of the memories we have shared and a representation of the everlasting impact that you have made upon our lives.

We love you and miss you more than words can say.' 

 I got to offer the poem 'Undying Love' by Rabrindranath Tagore as part of their ceremony.  You'll want to look this one up.  It's really lovely! They brought it to my attention and it has special meaning for them.

 Their vows, too, are among the ones I love best:  

'I promise to encourage your compassion,

Because that is what makes you unique and wonderful.

I promise to nurture your dreams,

Because through them your soul shines.

I promise to help shoulder our challenges,

For there is nothing we cannot face if we stand together.

I promise to be your partner in all things,

Not possessing you,

but working with you as part of the whole.

Lastly, I promise to you perfect love and perfect trust,

For one lifetime with you could never be enough.

This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things.'

 Theirs was a small intimate wedding attended only by family and very close friends.  It suited them well and this setting at The Fearrington is, in my opinion, the most romantic, nestled among covered trellises profuse with vines.

 Before Jamil and Nasrin exchanged rings, we did a 'Ring Warming Ceremony' in which we pass the rings through everyone's hands first so that they can offer a silent blessing, hope or prayer for Nasrin and Jamil and their new life together.  

 Then with great joy I pronounced them husband and wife and offered this blessing upon their marriage, 'May the love which has brought you together continue to grow and enrich your lives, bringing peace and inspiration to each of you and to those who know you.  May you meet with courage the problems which arise to challenge you; may you meet with strength the troubles that beset you.  Jamil and Nasrin,  may your marriage be one of ever-growing depth and meaning, understanding and love which you give to one another in the life you share.  May you find far more in life than either would have found alone.  May you find tolerance for the prejudices, reverence for the beauties and respect for the truths you will encounter as you go forward together.'

 And I invited them to share their first kiss as husband and wife.  They, and their families, were a delight in my life.  They are a thoughtful, considerate, grounded and very loving couple.  Tender and respectful with each other, cherishing the blessing of finding one another.  I wish them all the happiness in the world.

I got a lovely note from Jamil with these pictures in which he said, 'Thank you so much for such a wonderful ceremony. It was exactly what we wanted and we couldn't have asked for more.'  Music for my ears and my heart!

Matt and Becky Marry in a Sweet Christmas Ceremony at The Fearrington Inn

Matt and Becky planned a small family wedding at The Fearrington House for December 23rd.  They arranged a private dining room in the inn for their 20 guests.  The guests were seated at their dinner tables as we stood in the arched doorway to the outer dining room.  The only being missing was their dog, Britches, who unfortunately hadn't yet mastered his formal dining manners.  They wanted a simple ceremony that focused on the joy that they have found with one another and how their love informs and enriches all they do in their lives.

In their opening words I said, 'And now you stand before your family, ready to acknowledge to God and to the world: this is my beloved, the one with whom I choose to create the rest of my life.'

Thank you to Kristin of KPO Photography who provided these gracious pictures.  I loved seeing them.  Matt and Becky are truly loving gentle very sweetnatured people and Kristin  captured them beautifully.  Here is her blog about their wedding with more pictures and a sweet story.

The inn was an ideal setting for them.  I've officiated many many large and small weddings there before but never one in the inn itself.  The staff was attentive and gracious and helped us navigate what was a cozy space well.  I'm sure the inn will hold special meaning for them now, and in only good ways.

It was only after these photographs were posted on Facebook that we discovered that Matt is the cousin of a friend of mine, Samantha, and her husband, David, and their son Iain.  They now live in Boston.  In fact I married Sam and David when they were pregnant with Iain so they all hold more than one special place in my heart.  I love that there isn't even one degree of separation between me and this wonderful, now even larger, more beautiful, family.  Signed and sealed with a kiss!

After I presented them to their family as a married couple we ended the ceremony by my saying that Matt and Becky would joyfully receive hugs and congratulations now.  And they did just that.  

And I quietly left them to the loving arms of their family.  I love that our lives are connected now.  Becky was really sweet in relaying their thanks that very evening later by email.  The next day they went on their honeymoon to St. Lucia and to the beginning of their very joyful marriage!  Many many blessings to them!

Kristina and Mike's Love Fills Duke Chapel

 Last Memorial Day weekend I got to marry Mike and Kristina.  They are such a delightful couple.  One of those couples where you remark in wonder that love finds us in unexpected places.  Kristina is from Slovakia and was on a study abroad program at Duke when she met Mike who was doing computer support in the computer lab.  She liked him and wasn't sure he knew it so on Valentine's Day she hunted him down to finally figure out his intentions.  

They both love Duke, and Duke Chapel was therefore the absolute right place for their small family ceremony.  It has a grandeur, but in their wedding photos I saw how it could also have sweet intimacy within this massive space.  I couldn't decide on many of these pictures between the near and far view.  There aren't many local venues with this much grandeur.  So I included both sets.  I've done many weddings here over the years but this is the first time I've been able to offer a blog.  That's because Hooman Vesic of Vesic Photorgraphy was peerless in capturing their wonderful ceremony and offered me their pictures (with their permission) to show you.  He also was the photographer for the picture at the top of my blog.  I always know that his work will be elegant and loving.  I'm sure his blog of Mike and Kristina's wedding was amazing.

Mother's were seated to the organ's strains of Bach's 'Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring.'  Attendants enter to 'Pachelbel's Canon in D,'and Kristina entered to Wagner's 'Bridal Chorus from Lohengrin.'  The music filled the chapel and accompanied Kristina and her mother the entire way.

It gave Mike and I a long time to enjoy this moment with her and her two attendants, Natalia and Zuzana.

For their readings they chose the words of Anne Morrow Lindbergh from her book 'The Gift from The Sea' which is always one of my favorite readings.  I've read that book twice and it always teaches me something new.  

Their second reading was Sonnet 43, 'How do I Love Thee' by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.  Kristina once gave this poem to Michael as a gift.  I read it in English and then Natalia read it in Slovak.

The offered their vows to each other in both English and Slovak.

And included a unity candle that had been lit by their mothers during the processional.

A great kiss in a beautiful setting.  Their first kiss as husband and wife. I'm glad they enjoyed it and didn't feel so shy that they just minimized the moment.

And then I got to present them as a married couple.

Duke Chapel has a long lasting tradition that a couple 'signs the book' that is the register of those couples married at the chapel.  I sign it, too, as officiant.  I like the history of my participation in these wonderful events, too.

Tre Bella Florist in Durham created their beautiful bouquets.

Then it's around the side of the building for pictures.  The architecture here means that every picture will be special.

They went to The Fearrington Inn for their family reception. Kristina's mother and at least one friend had traveled from Slovakia to be with them on their wedding day. I'm glad they got to see North Carolina at its most gracious.  Mike and Kristina sent me a lovely thank you note after their wedding.  Alas, I just looked for it and can't find it.  I'll have to look again!  It is to be cherished!

I wish them much happiness, and much fun with Mike cooking and Kristina baking, and both of the feeling well fed and loving it, all over the world.

Matt and Billie @ The Fearrington Inn This Summer

 Billie and Matt were both from out of town, choosing The Fearrington Inn, and me, on short notice because they each had just a short leave before shipping out to Afghanistan.  They are both helicopter pilots in the army who love their work and love each other.  I'm so glad that our fabulous photographer, K C Ramsay of Craige & van Roden Photography in Raleigh got these radiant shots of their wedding day.

Arioso Strings provided the music and were also very generous in playing outside in the very damp weather.  I love working with good professionals like Mary Page Block of Arioso Strings and her staff and Gilda.  You can trust their experience and it shows.

It was a rainy day and we waited for the rain to clear and it did!  Whew!  Thanks to Gilda McDaniel at The Fearrington Inn who always always does a fabulous job coordinating a wedding.  She made sure that her staff wiped off all the chairs and covered all the puddles so Billie and Matt could have the wedding they really wanted outside.

Billie and I worked long distance to create a ceremony that honored her Wiccan beliefs and Matt's Catholic faith and we created a ceremony that they both loved.

One element we incorporated was the Celtic Handfasting ceremony where I bind their hands in marriage, asking them vows they make to each other.  With each vow made another knot is tied in the cord.  This is where the sayings 'tying the knot' and 'giving ones hand in marriage' come from.  Billie made the cord they used by braiding three different color ribbons and adding small charms into the weave.  It  was beautiful.

After this ceremony, honoring that they can't be bound together physically at all times, they exchange rings as symbols of the vows and the binding they have made.

They are both laid back easy going people who simply wanted to celebrate their love for each other.  And that we did!

Billie sent me this note later:  'Thank you so much for doing such an amazing job officiating our ceremony. I can't even imagine a more perfect wedding! The amount of time, attention, and care you put into our ceremony made it an event our family and friends will remember forever... I am so thankful to have found you and that you were able to help us on such short notice.'

I heard from KC yesterday that the disc that KC had given them of pictures was damaged in the move.  Matt contacted KC to see what she could do and sent them another disc.  She also passed on their news.  

Matt is in Bagram and Billie is at a smaller bases named Sharona.  They only get to see each other about once a month but Matt is going to where Billie is for Thanksgiving and she is coming his way for Christmas.  I send love to them both and prayers to keep them safe from harm.

They were one of those blessings in my life that don't stay for long but you remember them, and feel blessed, after they pass.

Andy and Emily Fly In From CA To Marry at The Fearrington

Emily and Andy planned their ceremony almost entirely from California.  I laud them.  It was lovely.  They very intentionally created a ceremony and a wedding that honored both their faith traditions with style and grace.  It was a joy to plan their ceremony with them.


They had wonderful professional help.  As always Gilda McDaniel at the Fearrington Inn was impeccable.  I've been working with her for just about all the 17 years I've been officiating weddings locally and she is always considerate and thorough, doing as much as she can to create a wonderful event.  Katie Klein Photography was their great photographer.  Not all the shots are hers.  Only the really good ones.  All the flowers were by florist Mary Stevens at the Fearrington, and Jill Leckey from the Fearrington provided their cake, and their catering too was by Fearrington staff.


'Another Level,' a soul band from Sam Hill Entertainment played for their reception.  Thank heavens all the great Fearrington staff made planning easier for them long distance.

Here is the ceremony site from the side looking at the Red Room where Andy and his attendants waited before the ceremony.

In their ceremony they had both the unity candle and the seven Jewish wedding blessings.
You can see the small table behind us that held both the wine and the candles.

Right after their ceremony the wedding party, parents and I went to the Sun Room for the signing of the Ketubah, the Jewish traditional marriage contract.  They're lovely and are most often framed for the couples' home.  Andy and Emily made their own.


Then they had their ceremony on the lawn under the round gazebo and had their after ceremony pictures taken on the steps on the back lawn.  

Here is Katie Klein and her assistant in the midst of taking these shots.

 This is my shot of her shot.  

Emily and Andy sent me a wonderful note after they returned from their honeymoon in Greece: 


 'Thank you so much for your wisdom, expertise, sensitivity and kindness in officiating at our wedding ceremony.  You helped everyone - especially Andy and I - stay calm and just enjoy the day!  We can't thank you enough for all of your guidance and special touches. It was a pleasure getting to know you, and we wish you all the best.  We are certainly more than happy to share our good experiences and stories with anyone we know who is looking for an officiant.  They you again for everything!  Warmly, Emily and Andy Freedman.'


Emily and Andy are dear people who love the life they've created together and love sharing that love with their family and friends.   I wish them many blessings!

Blake and Colleen Married on Nov 20th at The Fearrington

It was one of those unseasonably warm and beautiful days. What a blessing. Blake and Colleen had planned their small intimate ceremony for 11 am in the morning and it was already warm enough to be outside comfortably.

Thanks to Gilda McDaniel at The Fearrington for her masterful, as always, support, to our photographer, Krystal Kast Photography for these wonderful pictures. Kirtsie Smith, the excellent harpist for the ceremony.

Blake and Colleen wanted a nonreligious but deeply spiritual ceremony that was simple and relaxed and in which everyone felt welcome and comfortable. They just wanted their loved ones to know their incredible happiness. They are both passionate about the care for the environment and wanted their ceremony to have as its center the planting of a tree as a symbol of their commitment to each other. I really respected that they knew what was important to them and loved being able to bring it to life with them.

There were only about 50 guests made up of family and close friends, and they had only one attendant each. This particular garden at The Fearrington was perfect for that size group and offered the benefit of shade for the couple during the ceremony and a worry free wedding with lots of the details taken care of. The Fearrington Inn Florist provided Colleen's beautiful bouquet.


Gilda also stopped the fountain for the ceremony. Located by the sculpture it was flowing and adding its music up to that point.

Here's a longer view of the ceremony site...


Their wedding would be followed by a jazz brunch (music provided by Kevin van Sant) on The Fearrington patio. But before this, there was a champagne toast in the Sun Room.

Before the ceremony the small potted tree that represented their marriage and family tree was sitting where the guests entered and they were asked to add a scoop of soil into the container.



Then Colleen's brother brought the tree down to this spot as part of the processional. The ritual that Colleen, Blake and I wrote said that by their act their guests were adding their own love into the mixture of soil and nutrients. This tree symbolized Blake and Colleen's family tree and their commitment to grow their love.


We spoke of how the tree would know all the seasons of their love in its beauty. And I said, 'Remember to nourish each other, with words of encouragement, trust, and love every day, so you can can grown and reach your fullest potential, just like this tree.' Then they added their own scoops of soil to the tree. It was a wonderful ritual.

I received this note from them shortly after their wedding day... 'Thank you so much for everything Robin. You truly made our ceremony sparkle with joy. Guests loved you and talked all day about what a fine job you did. .... We can not thank you enough. :)

Our best, Colleen and Blake.

Blake and Colleen are kind and gracious people. They have a delight in life that's contagious and a gentleness in their way of being in the world which was a delight to be around. I wish them all the happiness in the world. They're wonderful nurturers so I know their tree will thrive as will their love.