Eric and Alicia Are a Delight to Marry at The Hill Courtyard of The Carolina Inn

 It was so much fun marrying Eric and Alicia this May.  They are warm, funny, relaxed people who have friends to love them a lot and families who are gracious and kind.  What more is there to ask?  They also had wonderful Sally Oakley as their Wedding Planner and Punam Bean taking marvelous photos.

I so appreciate Alicia and Eric remembering to send me these wonderful photos that bring back their wedding to me so vividly.  

The Hill Courtyard of The Carolina Inn can be a little bit noisy if it's a busy traffic day.  But Alicia and Eric's wedding wasn't troubled by that at all.  No town buses and no Harley Convention.  Yay!  Their wedding was just rich in love.  They both went to UNC and by request you can see that I'm wearing my Carolina Blue stole.  Always a treat for me who went to UNC-G for my Ph.D. program.

In the opening I said words that seemed to fit them especially well:  'Alicia and Eric, each of you brings gifts to the other today: Gifts of hope and laughter, focus and seriousness of purpose, sensitivity and recognition of the beautiful and the profound. But these gifts are not to be yours alone. A strong and resilient marriage is not an escape from the world but a contribution to it. Eric and Alicia, may you now combine and strengthen your gifts, to be offered as a distinct and beautiful gift to the world. For the world is in need of the beautiful, the good and the holy and nothing is better suited to evoke that than a good marriage between two people as in love as you are.'

Eric and Alicia wrote their own vows that I printed in my book so that they didn't have to worry about bringing a piece of paper into the ceremony. I also printed them 14 point type and phrase by phrase so that they could look down, read a phrase and then look up and speak it to the other.  They hadn't seem the other's vows before the ceremony so it was a special delight to see how both vows were not only loving but descriptive of who they are and their love for each other - so funny, and warm, and tender.

 These are the words I used when I spoke of the symbolism of their rings:  'These rings are your gifts to each other to remind you always, and those that gaze upon their beauty, that you have pledged your love and commitment in marriage to each other. And when you have been together for a long, long time, you will look at these rings, and you will feel the indentation they have made on your fingers, and you will know that these rings contain all the memories of what your lives and your relationship have been. May they always serve to remind you of how great your love is for one another.'  

I loved these words we created to honor their parents.  Eric's father was his Best Man, so you can see him in the picture above.  'You both value the kind of love your parents have – where after decades you are still together with your best friend, you are still holding hands in the supermarket, still laughing until you cry.  Still growing, cherishing time with family and friends, laughing and loving together.'

Alicia and Eric got engaged in New Orleans and they love the jazzy sound of New Orleans style music.  So the celebratory sounds of a New Orleans Style jazz brass band led the recessional, while Alicia contributed to the festivities holding a feather trimmed umbrella as they walked down the aisle.  It was a very classy moment and set the tone of much joy that last through the whole evening and is still lasting for them now.  

They were sweet in their thanks saying, 'Thanks so much again for all that you did for us - it really was the best ceremony we could have ever dreamed up, thanks to you!'  But we know it was really them, and we were all basking in their love.  I wish them many many happy years and much much loving.

Ever wonderful Tre Bella Florist created their flowers, and every delicious Ashley Cakes provided their cake.  Their guitarist, Dave Aduddell played 'Falling in love at a coffee shop' by Landon Pigg for their processional.

Nick and Nicky Marry at The JC Raulston Arboretum in Raleigh on May 22

Sometimes weddings are so busy that I can only get a few moments for pictures.  These are all mine,except for the ones with me in it.  Those are from photographer, Visions in Bloom Photography.  They're not local but came down from Pennsylvania for Nick and Nicky's wedding because they're family friends.  Thank you for these wonderful shots!

Nick and Nicky were a delight to work with.  They had a definite vision for their wedding, and they were busy people, with Nick finishing up a PhD program just before the wedding happened.  And the JC Raulston Arboretum was a versatile, and lovely venue for them.

With their names so similar, I immediately felt a kinship with them,  Ruben and my names equally similar and distracting to people we meet.  They chose wonderful and unique music for their ceremony:  'Gymnopedie' for the seating of the parents, 'Dawn, Stars, and Butterflies, for the processional and 'Humming Chorus' for the bridal processional.  It set the mood for everyone knowing that this would be a unique wedding of two individuals.

Here is our photographer taking photos after the wedding just away from the ceremony site in the shade and with a leafy backdrop.

This is who she was photographing,  Nicky's mother and her attendants.

 Notice, too, Nicky's flowers.  I don't know that I've ever seen a more striking bridal bouquet before. They were designed for her by the The Blossom Shop.

Keith Ward, our DJ operated an IPOD for the ceremony which was great because everything had to be brought in to this garden site.  I've often done ceremonies at the gazebo before, and had done smaller ceremonies in this location but never seating for 80 plus people.  It worked well however.  Yay!  He was also the DJ for their reception at The Red Room just down the street.

Here is the ceremony site as if you're standing where they were married.

Here is the ceremony site facing the arch they were married in front of.





 They have a move across country waiting for them now.  I wish them all the best in their new life and new adventures.

Josh and Stephanie Marry at The Caffe Luna in Downtown Raleigh

On Sunday evening, January 16th, Stephanie and Josh had an intimate wedding at the Caffé Luna in downtown Raleigh. They wanted a simple non-traditional non-religious ceremony that was welcoming and warm, and celebrated their love. They were delighted to find the Caffé Luna where they could have their ceremony in one room and their reception in the room next door, catered by the cafe. Here's the room set up for their ceremony. First - looking to the back of the restaurant...

Now looking to the front of the restaurant...

We held the ceremony on the steps between the rooms, or what would be the front left of the photo.

Guests gathered for hors d'oeuvres at 5:30 and we began the ceremony at 6:00. I simply asked guests to move into the room where the ceremony would be help, then Josh and Stephanie walked through the archway to join me at the steps between the rooms. After the ceremony I told guests that Josh and Stephanie would be greeting guests in a receiving line and then join the couple for dinner in the other room.

The moment held lots of sweetness as they declared their love and commitment before their families and friends.

Their wedding had wonderful personal touches. Stephanie wore a lovely red dress which suited her beautifully and Josh wore a suit and red tie. Their cake, by Ashley Cakes was one of the most delightful and whimsical ones I've seen.

When Ashley was setting it up, she told me that it was her favorite cake of the whole year.

Josh and Stephanie didn't have a photographer and didn't pose for photographic moments so please excuse the quality of my pictures. Luckily the cake was easy to capture.

I officiate so many ceremonies at the Caffé Luna that I especially wanted other couples to see another possibility for a simple no-frills ceremony and reception that was full of personality and love. I wish Stephanie and Josh all the best! They are dear people.

Brian and Lauren Wed at the Cafe Luna

I had the joy of marrying Brian and Lauren at the Caffé Luna on Oct 16th in a beautiful ceremony. Nancy Rugirello from Simply Creative Photography was our wonderful photographer but these lesser quality pictures are friend pictures or the ones I snapped with my Droid. Gotta love these little machines.

I wanted to have my own pictures because Brian and Lauren were such a delightful couple to get to know. Lauren had been raised Jewish and Brian raised Catholic and they very intentionally wanted to honor customs from both sides of their heritage. So together we created a ceremony in which Lauren's father blessed the wine in Hebrew, Brian broke the glass and we acknowledged that we were not only joining two wonderful people, but two great families and two communities of faith.

Their cake topper was a cut out of the bride and groom created by an artist friend and their cake was by Ashley Lattier of Ashley Cakes.

The Caffé Luna is a fabulous place for an intimate ceremony. This is the room where the reception would be held and the wedding was held in the room next door. They also have a room for stuff and to change clothes, which is really helpful, and outside doors into all the rooms in the back for the processional to enter. It's a great set up and a wonderful staff who supports the weddings. We rehearsed there between the lunch and dinner hours on the Friday before - between 2:30 and 3:30. A great time to avoid the Friday night traffic and chaos.

Lauren and Brian look so much more relaxed after the ceremony. But that's always the case. I'm glad to see them now simply enjoying each other and all those who love them and are here to celebrate their wedding with them.

I wish you could have seen the flowers. Gregg Kennedy of Brides and Bouquets in Cary designed beautiful bouquets in burgundy and cinnamon. You can see a little from the shot of the cafe. Their were orange highlights and the colors were magnificent. John Carter of A Perfect Day DJ was our DJ, of course, and he was great. The cafe was set up long and narrow for Lauren and Brian's wedding so the DJ was right by the front door of the cafe. A great spot for him to see entrances and cues. John was flawless. And of course the Caffé Luna catered their wonderful meal. They have Ryan Hill at the cafe to thank for that.

I wish them many many years of happiness!

Thomas and Jessica, best friends for ten years

November 14th is the day Jessica and Thomas got married. From the time they were fourteen, they had known that theirs would be a forever friendship. At that time they'd gone to two different schools, but even then they'd had known that what they had was special. Everyone thought they were too young and a little crazy. But over the last ten years they've grown up, and grown their love, even through the difficulties of a long distance relationship while she was in college and he learned the family business.

To their friends they're an inspiring example of a good relationship. And while their friends said, 'It's about time!' when they announced their engagement, to Jessica and Thomas, it was just the right time. On November 14th, with all their friends and family gathered at Bay 7 of the American Tobacco Campus in downtown Durham, they honored their special love.

Jessica's friend, Angela, was the honorary wedding director. She was fabulous and essential to the day. She kidded that she could apply her skills as a medical student to this occasion. But kidding aside, she gave a special gift to her friend in the grace and attention she brought to coordinating the many logistics of the day.

Thomas and Jessica come from two different faiths, and in their ceremony we honored both traditions. Melissa Cherry, a photo journalist from Greensboro took all the wonderful pictures you see here catching the occasion beautifully. Many thanks to her!

After Thomas and I entered the ceremonial space,
four attendants carried at huppah created just for the occasion. (These four friends remarked to me after the ceremony that they had loved being able to see Thomas and Jessica's faces so clearly during the ceremony.) The huppah, in Jewish faith, represents the promise of the home they'll create together. Its sides are open, symbolizing the importance of community, participation in each others lives and what is beyond ourselves.

Jessica entered with both her parents to the Canon in D by Pachelbel played on a great sound system by Jill Phillips of All The Right Grooves. She was fabulous. This is a large, wide-open and difficult place to get the sound just right, but she managed it.

Thomas and Jessica used the architecture of the setting well, too, holding the ceremony on a landing of the stairs with a backdrop of silver tile, which created a wonderful platform and effect by which everyone could see more easily.


Thomas and Jessica's exchange of rings had special meaning. Thomas proposed on New Year's Eve at mid-night in Asheville, NC on the grounds of the Grove Park Inn. It was a symbol of the forever commitment they'd both grown toward all these years. Now they were formally declaring this commitment in the eyes of all who love them.




During the ceremony they shared a glass of wine as part of the 7 Jewish Wedding Blessings Jessica's brother Jacob recited for them. The first is 'We praise you God, ruler of the universe, creator of the fruit of the vine.' The next six are just as lovely.

They also thoroughly enjoyed their kiss, taking the time to savor the moment. Yay!



Thomas broke the glass and everyone yelled 'Mazel Tov' at the end of the ceremony to wish them congratulations and good luck. It's not really hard to break the glass if you step on it right and then of course you have to remember to have it in a white cloth napkin so that shards don't go flying. It's a wonderful way to signify with a good shout that everyone is with them in spirit and that the ceremony is completed. Traditionally this ritual holds the prayer that says 'may your bond of love be as difficult to break as it would be to put together the pieces of this glass together again.'

I call the final moment before the Recessional the Basking Moment. It's the time when a couple is reentering their community for the first time as a married couple, seeing everyone who is there because they love them and wish them all the happiness in the world. It's a time to relish and drink in all this love and support.

So often couples seem to run out down the aisle. I say, 'Relax and enjoy all those faces turned to you in love.'


Jessica and Thomas had a special tradition for their wedding cake. Jessica's grandmother and mother had both had these same Kewpie doll's on top of their wedding cakes. And now so did Thomas and Jessica. The picture on the table is Jessica's parents cutting their wedding cake almost thirty years ago with the same small dolls on top of it. This beautiful cake was made by Ashely Lattier of Ashley Cakes.



Cydney Davis-English from The English Garden in Raleigh was responsible for Jessica's beautiful bouquet and the Cala lilies for her bride's maids.















I didn't stay but Jessica reports that they had to kick people out at eleven because they were still going strong on the dance floor. Durham Catering Company must have been a hit with the dinner, too. Thanks to Tom Ferguson.

I appreciate it so much when a couple lets me know that their ceremony has been what they wanted. Jessica send me the following note, which I'll treasure: "We are back home from our honeymoon now and starting to settle into our life as a married couple. We wanted to write and thank you for doing such an amazing job at our wedding last week. The ceremony was so heartfelt and honest - it touched both of our hearts and was able to transcend to reach all of our friends and family in attendance as well. Standing on that stage, listening to you deliver the words we worked so hard to choose, everything else truly faded away.

We really appreciate everything you did to make our wedding day so wonderful. You took so much care to craft the exact ceremony we wanted and we could never thank you enough for being part of the most important day of our lives. ... Thank you again! We are so glad we were able to share the day with you. Meeting you and having you officiate our ceremony was truly a blessing for both of us.'

It's a blessing for me, too. Jessica and Thomas were very clear in their appreciation and affection for each other and their family and friends. I felt privileged to be a part of it with the special role I had in their wedding.

Jessica and Thomas story was written up in the Harold Sun. It's wonderful. Click here to go the the Herald Sun site and the story.

Helping them honor a generous and inclusive love such as theirs is why I love what I do.