Matt and Beth Celebrate Their Love in A Sweet Ceremony at The Carolina Inn

It's a treat to be able to celebrate Matt and Beth's Ceremony on March 31st in the Bryan Courtyard at The Carolina Inn again with you now.  I've been doing ceremonies at the inn for 17 years and the staff there always does a great job.  I especially like that, in these later years, they have required a wedding planner to work with the couple if the couple is having their ceremony at the inn.  It helps ensure that every detail is well taken care of.  And they always have the best folks.  For Beth's and Matt's wedding Erin McLean of Erin McLean Events handled all the details.  She was a joy to work with.


Thanks, too, to Robin Lin of Robin Lin Photography, for these radiant photographs.  To see more go to Robin's blog at http://www.robinlin.com/blog/2012/04/17/beth-matt-the-carolina-inn-wedding-chapel-hill-north-carolina/.   Her photos are always great.


A string trio from Save The Date Music provided the music for the ceremony and A Watered Garden created their wedding bouquets.  I love color and when I asked Beth what color she wanted me to wear and she told me any shade of blue I was curious.  Seeing her attendants dresses in all those lovely shades of blue was striking.  And I especially loved Beth's dotted Swiss dress.  How often do you see dotted Swiss these days! 

Matt and Beth have a dog named Egg.  It was fun to mention him in their ceremony and it accented the elegant occasion with the note of humor and their personalities that brought out the twinkle in their eyes.  But they had been twinkling quite a bit that day.


They also chose a reading I love but I don't see couples choosing often.  It is from excerpts from letters of Vincent Van Gogh to his brother Theo.  Like Van Gogh's art, they are vibrant and alive and full of love for all of life.


Beth and Matt had their first look before the ceremony.  I find that this often relaxes couples so am glad when it works for them.  And Robin Lin got great pictures of them with the classic Southern architectural features of the Carolina Inn that are so lovely.

I love that the couples I marry are creating lives of meaning and passion in so many ways.  Beth shot me a quick note after I followed up with her about getting copies of their license (which I send to all couples) with a quick note, "Everything was awesome!  Sorry for the delay in response- I have an immunology mid-term today that I've been studying for - my test is in 1.5 hours!'

I trust that the exam went well and with the semester now over, they can celebrate some more.  I wish them many blessings and a long and wonderful life together!

Santiago and Anne in Spanish and English

On Aug 7th, Santiago and Anne had gathered their closest family and friends at The Celebrity Dairy in Siler City for the weekend to celebrate their marriage.

Santiago's family is from Argentina and he and Anne met while Anne was studying in Argentina. Now, after more than six years later and after having lived in DC and Vancouver, Santiago is studying for his Ph.D. in Spanish at UNC .

Because some family did not speak both languages, and because the language of their heart was different for Santiago and Anne, they decided that their ceremony needed to be done in both English and Spanish. Anne would say her vows in English and Santiago would say his in Spanish. How best to do this?

Here is where Sarah entered the picture and was not only a huge help but her presence was a delight. Also a Ph.D. student in Spanish at UNC, she officiated with me. After each paragraph that I offered in English, she offered the same paragraph in Spanish. We practiced inflection and timing together and it was a treat to be able to be so much more inclusive with her help than we ever could have been with the ceremony spoken in only one language.

And The Celebrity Dairy was a wonderful location for their intimate family gathering. Easy and comfortable, we strung wires for the sound system where we needed to and started when everyone was ready.

Wonderful photographer Robin Lin took all the pictures you see here.
Oh - the wedding party entered to the music 'Te busco y te encuentro.' It was especially lovely.

At the end of the ceremony, as is in the first picture, we showered them with rose petals, a wonderful change from the custom of throwing rice.

Sugarland Bakery in Chapel Hill created their delicious cake. Celebrity Dairy also did their catering, and their excellent DJ (thank you Darren for all your help) was Darren Hunicutt.

Here's a picture of the Dairy you don't see often. I've never done a ceremony on their front porch. I usually do them on the left side of the house on the lawn, but it looks possible and the porch is also great for hanging out.

I wish them all the best as they take this new step into marriage. I have do doubts that they will do fine.

Ryan and Tarrah Light Up The Fearrington

Some couples have a playfulness that is irrepressible. That's Ryan and Tarrah. You can see their delight in each other. They are that way every time I meet them.

Tarrah's an art teacher in Wake County (great paintings!) and Ryan's a software engineer. They met at Elon when they lived on the same hall and shared some friends who'd been Ryan's friends from high school. But that was almost ten years ago. And it's been a great almost 10 years. They feel that each other are so easy to love and they've taken their time to deepen their love.

I enjoyed the story they told me about how Ryan proposed during year 8: They were getting ready to go out to see A Chorus Line in Raleigh and out to dinner beforehand. As Tarrah puts it, 'He'd been acting fishy and nervous'. Ryan had a challenge. Tarrah loves surprises but she's hard to surprise because she's so observant. But he succeeded - going down on one knee to officially propose.

Robin Lin was the superb photographer for that day at The Fearrington. She's always a joy to work with. Here's their first kiss as husband and wife. I try to get out of the way so the photographer can crop me from the picture pretty easily.
I love this shot of Ryan taking a quick look at his ring on his hand when, at the end, they're facing their family and friends for the first time. I think a friend or family member captured this moment.


All their friends and family at the wedding went out of their way to tell me what a great couple they are. And since Tarrah loves surprises, Ryan didn't tell her where they were going for their honeymoon but just what to pack. I found out later that they went to St. Lucia and had a great time. Great pick, Ryan!

The Fearrington, Cheryl guiding the day, was at it's best keeping us cool...

and providing bug spray to keep away the mosquitoes that love their lush lawn. This is only one of several possible ceremony sites there, but since I don't often do weddings in this spot, I wanted to make sure you saw how wonderful it is.

I could get these shots of the ceremony site before the ceremony started though.

Oh - I'll add a couple pictures of The Barn where they had their reception, and I'll add one of their cake, also made by The Fearrington. I'm not sure if they have pictures like these on The Fearrington website. After the heat and bright sun of the day, the cool dark is soothing. The outside of the barn below is where cocktails were served while Tarrah and Ryan were having wedding pictures taken.


Here's the inside.


And, of course, here's their cake. The spring green matches Ryan's tie. As a person who does fabric art and who loves color, I loved that part.

The excellent ceremony music was provided by Arioso Strings (they're always great), and the music for their reception was by Groovetown Band. Their videographer was Island Sound DJ and Video.

Tarrah sent me wonderful thanks and some pictures on Facebook. But I use it so rarely that I can't figure out how to get back to those great words. Some day soon........

I like being her friend on Facebook though. When I see her postings and pictures of her and Ryan, it brings me back to their wedding day and their love and I feel great. I so love what I do!

The Wedding of Holly and Paul at the Aqueduct Center in Chapel Hill

I'm going back to the Fall of 2009 - November14, to be exact, to tell you about Holly and Paul's wedding because I want you to see their wonderful pictures and I wanted you to get to know them just a little. They are what make weddings fun for me.

And they seemed to be having fun at their wedding, too. As you can see in the playful spirit of this 'American Gothic like' photo above.

Paul and Holly met through Holly's friend Nadine. Holly teaches yoga and Paul needed a yoga instructor. They immediately liked each other and have shared interests in vegan food, hiking, cooking together, biking and just enjoying life. And they have four cats.

In their wedding they wanted to honor both the public aspect of the ceremony - it is their public declaration of love to their family and friends - but they also wanted to keep the private side of their ceremony and their day. So they made very active choices to do just that.

They invited about forty people the Aqueduct Center in Chapel Hill to share their wedding day. It has this gorgeous view from the deck. We were all grateful for this radiantly beautiful Fall day.


This is the room off the deck where their ceremony was held in front of the fireplace.

High Strung Celtic (919-933-7624, Art and Sarah) were their wonderful musicians whose instruments included a hammered dulcimer and a fiddle.

Holly and Paul wanted their ceremony to be representative of their tastes and to have a participatory and community feel. And it did. Their attendants were their brothers, Scott and Kevin.

Their friend Albert read the poem 'Love' by Roy Croft. Then their friends Wes and Betsy read the Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. It's a gentle and loving piece that begins: 'Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story....' Google it to read the whole thing. It's worth it and will gentle your spirit whatever mood you're in.

We all had a special treat when Holly's brother, Scott, played a gyil (pronounced geel). It's an African instrument (that he made himself!). The song he played was one he wrote especially for Holly and Paul called 'When Walking, We Walk Together.' It was absolutely captivating and had a purity of tone and musicality that was memorable. Holly told me afterward how special the piece was for her.

Paul and Holly's vows are ones I love. Each person's vow begins first with the following question:

'Holly will you love Paul when you are together and when you are apart, when life is peaceful and when it is disordered, when you are proud of him and when you are disappointed in him, in times of leisure and in times of work? Will you provide trust and respect, and gentle understanding, encourage his personal growth and place him above all others? Do you promise to keep an open heart and mind in time so change and growth and to find compromise in times of conflict. Will you honor Paul's dreams and help him fulfill them?'

I love being the minister at weddings because I am reminded every time of the daily art of loving deeply. Wonderful words like these have helped me grow my love for my Sweetheart, Ruben.

After Paul and Holly exchanged their vows and rings, and i pronounced them married, I got to say the wonderful blessing: 'Always remember that we can expect nothing from love except what love gives. We cannot choose what chances and changes may befall us, but we can shape the spirit with which we shall meet them. My prayer for you is that your love will grow stronger and richer as the years so by......'

Robin Lin of Robin Lin Photography took all these wonderful pictures. She always seems to find the shots that are perfect for each couple.











I loved leaving Paul and Holly in the loving hands of their friends and family. My final words in the blessing in the ceremony for them were: May the years deal gently with you, walking together, may you find life richer for journeying through it together.'

They're both people who live life with a twinkle in their eye. They fit well together. I have no doubt that they will continue to find life delightfully enriched in their journey together. Many blessings to them!

Grace and Alex at Valhalla

Alex and Grace got married at Valhalla, seemingly right out of Norse legend. But that's its official name of The Barn at Valhalla, just off Highway 54 west of Chapel Hill. On October 10th it fulfilled its promise to become a glorious spot for Alex and Grace to marry. And it was a joyful occasion.

The weather was iffy all that week. We were all checking the Doppler images daily. But it cleared up just in time to be a gorgeous early fall afternoon. Maybe it was because Alex and Grace were beaming so broadly that they created sunshine themselves. In the leafy canopy and crisp air, it felt like we were in a magical glade.


All the fabulous photographs you see here were taken by Robin Lin of Robin Lin Photography. You'll see more pictures by her on several other of my blog entries (Tim and Caroline, Kate and Jay), and on my home page of my web-site. She is always a joy to work with, captures all those moments you don't want to forget, and has the most amazing eye for color and composition. I can't recommend her highly enough. But then her work speaks for her better than any words.

Grace and Alex provided lots of small touches for others to smile at, too. Besides the ceremony they had snapshots of their dog, from various angles, on each table for the reception. These pictures also included the number for each table. They wanted their puppy with them on their wedding day and this was the best way, given his exuberance, to manage it. They also had Wedding Mad Libs at each place setting for an ice breaker (ask Robin about these, she has a copy), and a photo booth replete with funny hats and boas for some especially camp moments. And of course great dancing DJed by 1st Carolina DJs.

But everyone delighted first in the ceremony. Emily, their three year old flower girl captured everyone's heart while she was entering to 'Melloncollie and The Infinite Sadness' by Smashing Pumpkins.






Then everyone rose as Grace entered with her mother, Barbara, to the strains of 'Glasgow Love Theme.' This is the advantage of recorded music. You can really tailor it just to you.








The stunning flowers carried by Grace and her Bride's Maids were created by Tre Bella Florist in Durham, just matching her colors of brown and red.








Grace and Alex had a Quaker-like ceremony that included words of love and affirmation from several friends and family members, each one speaking from the heart. One also read the wonderful poem, 'Oh, The Places You'll Go, by Dr. Seuss, which was wonderfully appropriate for a wedding, and especially their wedding.

They spoke vows in their own words to each other that captured their personalities and their joy in their love for each other..

They exchanged rings with the words: 'With this ring, I join my life with yours. I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine.' Then I got to say, with gusto, 'You may now smooch your bride' and Alex did - to much applause.

This heartfelt ceremony was made more so by the loving words of dear friends and family and the complete delight that Alex and Grace were taking in the occasion. Notice that the Hindu God, Ganesha, and Grace's grandparents both looked down upon them from the stone mantle of the fireplace. Many blessings were showered upon them this day from many directions.

They left the ceremony to the song, 'Feeling Good' by Nina Simone. And we were all feeling good for them.

It's always a good sign for a marriage when a couple knows how to claim the joy in their lives and in the love of their family and friends. I'm happy for them!

October 3rd with Caroline and Tim

October began as a busy wedding month. Luckily the weather held for much of the month. And luckily we didn't need to worry about that for Tim and Caroline' wedding at the beautiful Franklin Hotel in downtown Chapel Hill. We did need to plan around game day traffic for UNC and Duke, but everyone was warned so all went well. But it was to honor Caroline and Tim's color scheme of light and dark blue that I wore a Carolina Blue stole.

Caroline and Tim both are in the visual arts so their sense of aesthetics is keen. You'll see how The Franklin and especially the wonderful pictures of photographer Robin Lin of Robin Lin Photography captured the elegance of their day.

I tend to discount black and white photographs until I see expressive ones like this one, of Tim and his Best Man, Aaron, watching Caroline enter during the processional accompanied by the wonderful music of Arioso Strings, supremely professional musicians from Cary.

Now we see why Tim was so intent upon the moment. In this photograph we see Caroline entering into the ceremony with her father.

In a typical ceremony the couple only speak to each other during the exchange of vows and rings. But Caroline and Tim decided to also read poetry to each other as part of their ceremony. Tim chose to read 'Sonnet XVII' by Pablo Neruda to Caroline. Caroline chose to read 'i carry your heart' by e.e. cummings to Tim. Both are beautiful poems written in the first person to a beloved and both poems fit these two creative and very different people wonderfully.

This was the first time The Franklin had set up their banquet room in just this way for a ceremony and it was lovely, giving the room a very spacious feel with the symmetry of the large picture windows.

This configuration of the room also enabled the videographer, Jessica Hoffman, to have a great spot from which to capture the ceremony. (We all met a week before the ceremony at The Franklin with their catering manager, JoAnn Sullivan, to work all the spacing out.) After the ceremony the guests had cocktails in the atrium of the hotel where the first picture was taken, while the seating of the room was changed for the reception.

I wish Tim and Caroline all the best as they begin their marriage. We ended their ceremony with a lovely blessing: 'May your way be blessed, may wisdom's light shine upon you, and may your journey bring you peace.' I offer these words again to this loving couple.