Shawn and Regan Find the Bright Spot in the Day for Their Wedding

This was the weather that greeted us at Snipes Farm on the mid-August day of Shawn and Regan's wedding.  The one thing that Regan really wanted was to be married outside.  So we all put our hopes and prayers together and watched as the clouds darkened, wondering if it was possible.  And amazingly, and joyfully, it cleared up enough, for long enough.

There is a wonderful huge tree near the bottom of the meadow at Snipes Farm that is a long treasured spot to hold a ceremony.  The tree seems to offer strength and roots and a center to the ceremony.  I loved how Shawn and his men looked dapper on this warm day, eschewing formality for comfort.

Shawn teared up when he saw Regan enter.  They are a delightful couple, cherishing each other, delighting in finding each other, relishing their love.

They met when Regan visited NC from CA to see cousins.  It was love at first sight and a hard parting but it didn't take long for Regan to come back for good. 

Thanks to our photographer Dana Dillahunt of Dana Dillahunt Photography from Greensboro for these wonderful images.  She captured the feel of the day and the love that surrounded Regan and Shawn beautifully.

 Their cake was designed by Lori at Simply Cakes.  And it was uniquely them.

 I've always loved how Snipes Farm can transform into such an elegant setting.  The yellows, Chinese lanterns and the twinkle lights were a perfect contrast to the stormy day.

 Regan and Shawn closed a love lock as part of their ceremony. Regan's mother bought the lock in Florence Italy when she heard of the custom of putting a lock on the Ponte Vecchio bridge and throwing the key into the Arno River so that you are destined to return to Florence.  For Regan and Shawn, their love lock means that they have given each other the key to their heart - for good and forever.

In our blessing I said, 'May the love that warms our hearts today and the love that flows between Shawn and Regan always be strong.'  They may not have had a sunny day but the strength of their love did seem to chase the clouds away. 

Here is a 5 minute clip of the video of their wedding.  Enjoy!  And thank you Adam Coker, from Authentic Explosure.

 I loved having Shawn and Regan in my life and wish them many many blessings! 

Brad and Sarah Marry at Snipes Farm in October

 It was still a warm Fall Saturday in early October when Brad and Sarah married at Snipes Farm Retreat in Chapel Hill.  They have such a wonderful expanse of lawn upon which to perform ceremonies.  Under this big Oak (?) tree is a favorite spot with couples.  I've been officiating ceremonies here for 18 years and they are a steady favorite venue for those who want a spacious setting that lends itself to your personality and your touches.

Rebecca Ames of Rebecca Ames Photography was their wonderful photographer and shared these pictures (with Sarah and Brad's permission) with me.  She and I had the pleasure of working together twice in October.  I was really impressed with her ability to capture the loving spirit of each couple.   You can see Marilyn Wienand, of Carolina Harp, at the harp behind us in a further photograph, too.  I've worked with her many times over the years and she is always a joy.

One of the young men carried a bird's nest, the second, younger one carried a sign that said, 'Here Comes The Bride.'

 Sarah and Brad wanted a casual wedding and the setting, their attire, and the presence of the children helped ensure that.  Brad and Sarah are both down to earth comfortable people they wanted everyone else to be comfortable, too.

In the ceremony we  spoke a little about Sarah and Brad's journey to their wedding day with these words: 'From that first moment when Sarah knew she loved Brad’s sense of humor and cheesy jokes, and Brad was blown away by Sarah’s infectious laugh and show stopping smile, they have been growing their love toward this day of commitment to each other in marriage. 

They cherish the life they have created with Kye, Finn and Maisey, as well as you, their family and friends, by their side.  They delight in each other’s company, whether it’s going to the grocery store or on a Caribbean cruise.  As long as they are together, they’re happy. 

From different places, geographically and otherwise, they’ve learned and grown in their own understanding of themselves and each other.  They have found a home in each other – both figuratively and literally.  We celebrate their new home with them on this occasion, too.

They look forward to growing old together, sitting on their porch in a rocking chair, loving then as they love now – fully, completely, unconditionally.'

 With their exchange of rings, I said, 'Love freely given has no beginning and no end.  Love freely given has no separate giver and receiver.  You are each the giver and each the receiver.  May your ring always call to mind the freedom and the power of this love.'

Other wonderful professionals who made their wedding a delight were Lenny Fritts, of Lenny Fritts Touch of Class who was their DJ, Marsha Snyder or MEWS Designs who was their florist, and Beau Bennett of Beau Catering in Durham who catered their food.  It sure smelled good!

Sarah and Brad have fostered a dog and adopted a cat and so their family has grown.  They are generous hearted loving people.  It was a delight to marry them and I wish them many many blessings!

Eric and Melanie Do It Their Way at Snipes Farm

I couldn't complete the summer without telling you of this marvelous couple and their truly unique and loving ceremony.  Eric and Melanie approached me to work with them to create a ceremony that fit them.  They very much wanted to honor their commitment to be life partners but didn't want to follow the path of marriage because so many of their lesbian and gay friends did not have this right.  I really respect this and was happy to work with them.


They were full of questions and ideas and over the months as we emailed between Boston and NC  I learned more about them as a couple, and in the learning, my respect for them and my joy in their ceremony grew.  The wonderful pictures of Carolyn Scott of Carolyn Scott Photography tell it all.


In these pictures you'll also see Snipes Farm out 54 West from Chapel Hill, at it's best.
Outside......

And inside.....



Their flowers were from Bluebird Meadows.

We all walked together to their ceremony site under a huge Oak (?) tree that is near the pond.

We stood in front of their hand made chuppah.  And Melanie's dress was hand made, too.

In fact, each touch was considered by them to represent their love and sense of stewardship of the planet and of all it's peoples.  Melanie wore this small succulent plant in her hair as her flowers.

Their vows were unique, just like the couple. They not only represented their vows to each other in their marriage but their intention and promise to serve a larger integrity and justice in their lives.  At the same time, their vows were playful and warm.  Just like them.

We passed around their rings in this small glass jar so that everyone could add their own silent blessing before Eric and Melanie exchanged their rings and placed them on their hands.

Then we engaged in a playful act of spiritual symbolism.  Melanie's sister made a model volcano for them.  We spoke of how their marriage was creating a new territory in their lives.  Sometimes their lives would be calm and peaceful and at other times it would be full of upheaval.  Sometimes it would hand them rubble and ash that they must integrate into new ways of being in the world.  Then I invited them to engage in this act of symbolically creating the new territory of their commitment.

Here's the uncovering moment so that everyone saw it first at the same time.  It was greeted with much applause.

Here's a closeup, complete with cut out dinosaurs and a cut out of their cat (not in this picture.)

In the picture below they are pouring vinegar and baking soda into the volcano.

And VOILA!  It worked and bubbled forth froth aplenty!  The crowds went wild!  :-)

In the ceremony text  I had noted, 'show of affection' because Mel and Eric felt shy about kissing in front of everyone, but they decided to just go for it.  I'm glad they did.

At the reception, first food made by Vimala of Curry Blossom Cafe, then pie made by Phoebe Lawless of Scratch Bakery in Durham, then.....

Then games and fun...... see more about this part of their celebration on Carolyn Scott's blog entry

Then, when the sun went down, they lit lanterns and released them into the sky.  Look at Carolyn Scott's blog for more pictures of this.  They created a lovely spectacle.

Mel and Eric create joy around them by their willingness to celebrate all of who they are.  They witness to the fact that life holds so much more possibility if we but let ourselves receive it.  They remind me of my favorite quote by Henri Nouwen, 'Life is not a goal to be achieved.  It's a gift to be received.'

It's good to know people like Eric and Mel.  They will keep you young.  I know that they were an incredible blessing in my life this year.  I wish them much joy.

They sent me a wonderful card after their ceremony.  It too was a Snapfish card that they had had made with a wedding picture on the front  with Melanie holding a hand written blackboard that said 'Thank' and Eric holding the partner one that said, 'You.'  In it they said,

'Thank you so much for your helping making our commitment ceremony a reality. When we first contacted you we knew that we wanted to make a statement of our love, but you were instrumental in helping us to craft that statement - ensuring that it had a sense of ritual ceremonial importance, while also being a natural reflection of who we are.  We really enjoyed the process you lead us through, and it really did help us to thin k more deeply and honestly about our life together.  That was a wonderful gift.  Thank you, Eric and Melanie.'

I couldn't ask for anything more!

Erin and David at Snipes Farm

On Labor Day weekend, we gathered to marry David and Erin at Snipes Farm Retreat. Tucked back at the end of Jo Mac Road just west of Chapel Hill off Highway 54 is this wonderful place to have a wedding and reception. They don't have a web page but they stay busy with weddings and parties. I felt a special connection to this couple because they graduated from the same department at UNC as my Sweetheart, Ruben as well as the many other ways our lives crossed paths that remind me that 6 degrees of separation is way too many in the NC Triangle.

The day was gorgeous and David and Erin decided to marry right under the huge tree on the lawn which slopes down to the pond on the farm. With the large expanse of sloping lawn, Roger Snipe makes it easy for wedding goers by offering to take people who can't walk the distance down in his golf cart. It's a real help.

Erin and David had a wedding with special friends and family. They have known each other eight years and been a couple for three and a half. Through this time they supported each other through graduate school and all those hydrology tests and poster sessions.

They are both close to their families and wanted family participation in the ceremony. Her four sisters were her attendants, and Dave's brother was his Best Man. They did the ceremony of the unity candle to signify the uniting of their families. Their mother's lit the candles before the ceremony. And they lit the unity candle as a symbol of their married life which begins this day. We said, 'As you joined to light this candle, so you will join in the rewards and challenges of married life.'

We said these words of blessing upon their marriage: 'Dave and Erin, believe in what is yours, believe in who you are, believe in the richness and the power of what lies in the depths you share. And go now in great happiness.'

They had this group shot of their families taken after the ceremony. The photographer perched on a ladder to get this fabulous picture.

The wedding photographs were taken by their friend Chip Hammond. Thank you!

They also had a wonderful reception which included the seven piece band with brass, They Are Timeless, which had a great repertoire and a big band sound.

Their catering for the occasion was done by Thrills From The Grill, and it was a perfect day for it. Erin and Dave's friends and family give them the gift of doing their flowers and their cake. It was a wonderful way to begin their marriage.