At 7:45 am on the drizzly Tuesday morning of September 22nd, Richard, and their friends and I gathered at the Old Well on UNC campus to await Caroline's arrival at 8 am when we would begin their wedding ceremony. The sun kept moving in and out of the clouds so we were hoping hard for no rain. Everyone was generous of spirit as we waited and I felt lucky to be their officiant.
Caroline is studying at the School of Pharmacy at UNC, having just arrived a few months before from Singapore. With her came Richard, her fiancé, a chef hoping to find a position in one of the wonderful restaurants in Chapel Hill. Our timing was critical. The next day Richard would be flying back to Singapore to get his visa renewed.
At this gathering were their friends from the School of Pharmacy and from the small UNC contingent of Singaporeans. It was a small and very close group. This was to be their American wedding and when they return home to Singapore, they would have another wedding with their families and friends there.
They wrote their own vows and exchanged rings with the words, 'I give you this ring as a token of the loving covenant made this day between us." They had memorized their vows and the words of the exchange of rings. I was simply holding my book up in case they needed it. And they didn't!
Their local reception would be held that night at the Top of the Hill restaurant in Chapel Hill so we wanted their ceremony and short time after the ceremony (folks had to get to class by 9:30) to include their wedding cake and a toast. To accomplish this I created a special symbolic ceremony within the wedding ceremony to include the cutting of the cake, and them feeding each other cake, with these words:
"A tradition in this country is for the couple to share wedding cake at their wedding celebration. We bring that tradition into the ceremony today. The cake represents the sweetness of your days together. It represents that from this moment on you will be called to nurture each other, in body and spirit, often in unexpected and spontaneous ways. You will sit at the same table and eat and drink together. So eat now. And may your lives be sweet with love, romance, and adventure. And from this time forward may you find life's joys doubly gladdening, its bitterness sweetened, and all things made more delightful by the sweetness of your love for each other."
After the ceremony, the signing of the license, and many pictures, .....
The whole group accompanied Caroline and Richard to the car their friends were lending them for the day. It was decorated Singapore style. I congratulated them that this custom was more attractive that most of the ways we decorate cars in this country.
We were all hoping that Richard could get back to NC and his new wife quickly. And he's on his way as I write this blog. Welcome back, Richard. And Congratulations again to you both!
And may your first autumn in NC bring wonderful new experiences for you to relish and share!
In planning a wedding we can all too easily forget how it's possible to have a small wedding with all of the special ingredients of a larger one. At 10am on Wednesday morning, October 7th, Harry and Alex were married at the White Garden trellis in the J. C. Raulston Arboretum, in the company of just a few close family and friends. I know. I was there and got to perform the ceremony.
Harry and Alex are full time students at North Carolina State. Harry had recently gotten out of the military and wanted to make sure, on their limited budget, that they had a traditional wedding.
Close friends and family are what made that happen. And of course, Mara Kurtz, our wonderful photographer who is also an NC State student and a photographer for the university newspaper.
Alex's uncle walked her into the ceremony, and Harry's sister Anita was her Maid of Honor, who also drove Alex to the ceremony. Two friends of Harry's were in attendance and we began.
It was a sweet way to start the day. They kept the tradition of throwing the bouquet and of Harry taking off the garter from Alex's leg..... to the delight of all.
The festivities were short for some of us because most of us had commmittments right after the ceremony..... after all, it was still a school day. But for Alex and Harry, it was a life changing day.
They will have a wedding day to remember. And we are all glad.
On August 15th I had the privilege of marrying Farrah and Andy. I had been involved in their planning more than with most other couples, encouraging them to check our The Barn at Valhalla (just outside of Chapel Hill off highway 54 west) when they were looking for sites that might not already be booked already for their desired Saturday. And they were delighted with The Barn which seemed perfect for their needs.
There's a large sloping lawn, ......
A large paneled lodge house with bedrooms upstairs that look like it could be a NC version of an Aspen ski lodge and a lovely large deck for cocktails.
The day was warm so the guests were provided with those wonderful fans that show up at summer weddings. I'm a fan of them (Oh, bad pun!) but they do make the difference between warm and hot.
Farrah and Andy met in Thailand and grew their love on both sides of the Pacific Ocean. It was great that her father and sister could be here for her wedding. She had a simple bouquet of summer wild flowers which beautifully offset her elegant dress. The wildflowers came from Andy's parent's yard and the yard of their friends, Bob and Brenda Vance. Bob and Brenda also arranged the bouquets.
Grace was their flower girl. She and her family are special friends of Farrah's. And our ring bearer was carrying a special pillow made from Thai silk, fashioned by Andy's mother. It's a good thing he wasn't carrying the real rings!
During the ceremony their friends read poetry of their own choosing which was light spirited about how they imagined each one of them would be in marriage.
Then after their exchange of vows and rings we had a special ceremony that was part of the tradition of her part of northeastern Thailand, called ' Isaan.' The ceremony is called 'pook khan.' (phonetically in English that is), and it symbolizes the welcoming of the new member of the family. It signifies congratulations and the unity of the new family being created.
It's performed by tying a cotton thread around Andy's and Farrah's wrists. The thread came from Farrah's home town of Khon Kaen and was brought by her father just for this purpose. We invited each of the members of Andy's and Farrah's families to come forward and each tie a thread around both their wrists and when doing so, offer them either a silent or verbal blessing. It was a softly spoken ceremony full of joy accompanied by delightful fiddle music provided by family friends, Jani and Buddy. (You can see the simple cotton thread bracelets in this picture from their reception.)
Their recessional music was ragtime. It seemed wonderfully upbeat and fitting for their day. All their ceremonial music was provided by Melissa, Andy's aunt who is a professional musician in Ohio with Bella Musica Columbus. She played the electric keyboard, which worked with the help of a looooong cord.
I was amazed at this picture and hoped that the wedding party didn't need to do this often. But by the men wearing suits they were much more comfortable than in formal wear, which doesn't breathe at all in the heat. Somehow I think this one was before, not after the one above.The wonderful pictures were all taken by Andy's friend, Rand Harcz. He's also a professional photographer. We thank him!
The General Store in Pittsboro did the wonderful catering and the cake for the reception, and Jorgie Brown from The General Store was the wedding organizer for the day. She was a huge help in so many ways.
It was good to recently hear that Farrah's paperwork to stay in this country is going well. I wish them both a wonderful life.
On August 15th, Michael and Libby were married in the little town of Merry Oaks, NC.
Merry Oaks seems like just a sweet name of a highway sign to passers-by. But just off the freeway, tucked around a corner is a wonderful funky old bed and breakfast that called to Libby and Michael for their wedding. I couldn't even find its contact information on Google, so if you want to know how to reach it, contact me and I'll ask Michael and Libby.
It used to be a farm house with an old post office and train station. The artist Ann Hill used to live there. It's decorated with old hub caps, and today its history continues to grow, rich with laughter and life.
In 
renting the whole place Libby and Michael had a casual country place with a lawn and garden that was perfect for their gathering of about fifty close friends and family. They wanted someplace casual and enjoyable. And they wanted their wedding to be that way, too.
Friends provided the cupcakes and the wonderful jazz music, QShack completed the food offerings with delicious bar-be-cue (which you don't see because I needed to leave before that time to travel to Carrboro for another ceremony), and .........
Libby's sister was her Matron of Honor and Michael's brother was his Best Man.
And there would be room for their dachsund, Lulu to be a part of the festivities.
They have one of those amazing stories that speak of fate lending a hand. They had met briefly long ago but had moved to different cities. Then later in Detroit, they lived in the same apartment building, but Michael moved in just as Libby was moving out. Then Michael started getting Libby's mail and they ran into each other at a drug store when both of them were dating other people.
Finally getting the message the universe seemed to be telling them, they began seeing each other, which led, after three years to their wedding day, August 15th.
All the photos you'll see in this blog entry were provided by Lacey Gadwill who has a wonderful casual touch.
Michael and Libby had moved down from Detroit not too long ago and have a close set of friends and family.
They had a special part in their ceremony which spoke to this closeness.
"Dear Friends and Family, Without you, we aren't possible. You raised us, befriended us, brought us together physically, mentally, and spiritually, fought with us for freedom and justice in a world often lacking both. And today you have given us the great gift of being present at our marriage. In all this, all of you prepared us for this day, with unity with each other today, before you, before each other, before God and before creation. Thank you!
Our sons and daughters grow older, become independent, fall in love and marry. But marriage is not the end of their previous relationships to family and friends. Rather it's a process which requires constant care and attention. In this process Michael and Libby will need the help, support, love, and care of all of you who have been so important in their relationship so far.
Do all of you gathered here today, who have nurtured Michael and Libby so long, bestow your blessings on their union? If so, answer, 'We do!'"
This is a group shot of everyone who said, 'We do!' There were no dissenters.
Friends came from Seattle, New York, New Orleans, and Detroit to be with them.
Michael and Libby found a moment to share a cupcake during the reception.
I hope all their life will be sweet with these memories of their wedding day.
On August 29th, I had the honor of performing Stefan and Kate's marriage ceremony at the wonderful Sarah P. Duke Center in Duke Gardens, in Durham, NC. We were all nervous about rain that weekend, but a storm roared through Durham about an hour after the rehearsal on Friday evening and we were blessedly left with the cooler weather brought in by the front. The water lilies were blooming and a blue heron graced us with its presence on the pond during the whole of the rehearsal. We all considered it nature's blessing on the occasion. Kate and Stefan both love the natural world. So much so that their ceremony began with these words:"We are here today to celebrate the marriage between Stefan and Kate. The life this couple has created together is imbued with much love. They share not only a deep romantic love, rooted in sincere friendship, but also a love of life and its offerings. They share a passion for exploration of and protection of the natural world, and a respect for all cultures of the earth. The interest and values that brought them together in the beginning continue to unite and inspire them."
The Sarah Duke Center has amphitheater seating which faces the pond and which is perfect for this size group of about 120 people. You can see the Sarah Duke Center behind, where the reception was held. It has a large lawn and a walkway where the wedding party gathered to enter the amphitheater. The cocktail hour, was held on the covered porch (you can see its roof in this photo.)
Allison Davis of Sandfoot Photography took all of these fabulous pictures and you can see more on her web site. Ken Holmes of DJ Bunn Co. was the DJ for the music for the ceremony and the reception. He found the perfect spot for a good view, unobstructed but also discreet.
Both Kate's parents walked her down the aisle, which at the Sarah P. Duke Center is wide enough to do gracefully. She entered to a Celtic harp version of the traditional Bridal March.Christy White of A Designing Mind, event floral designer combined cymbidium orchids, jade roses, South American line hydrangeas, Sahara roses, bells of Ireland and Yoko Ono green button poms for the beautiful floral bouquets.
Stefan and Kate each chose different vows to speak to the other. While most couple do not choose to do this, it's always a treat for me when I know that both people have taken the opportunity to say vows that uniquely fit their love for the other.
Kate has an Irish heritage so wanted the family's Irish wedding bell to be in the ceremony. We created a ceremony for the bell where they ring the bell on their wedding day and promise to ring it whenever they need to be reminded of their love for each other as it is on this day.
We then had the delicious moment in the ceremony when we were told that the clapper of the bell had come off and they said 'ring ring ring' for the sound of the bell. It was a fun and unforgettable moment that they'll probably remember much more powerfully that what was planned. And with more humor. Which is always good for a marriage.
The Catering Company smoothly handled all the arrangements for the cocktail hour and the reception in the ballroom which is also graced with a life sized statue of a blue heron. And the dance floor was occupies for the rest of the evening.I wish them great happiness as they begin this new adventure together.
Tonya and Frank show it's possible to have the most romantic wedding with just two people in a setting that most people think of as only suitable for larger gatherings.
On Sunday evening July 26th, with three guests in attendance Tonya and Frank were married in the landscaped garden at The Fearrington. The only others present were Jerry Dillard, their professional photographer, friend and owner of Dillard Studios, who provided all the excellent pictures here,
Ruby Prescott, owner of Blue Sands Music and a wonderful and versatile violinist, three friends, and me.
After the ceremony, the signing of the license,
and many thank you's and hugs,
we wished them well and
Tonya and Frank had dinner
at The Inn at The Fearrington.
When the wedding party is so small and makes such a small footprint on a setting, many locations charge little or nothing. I've walked with couples and their friends into Duke Gardens, Yates Mill Pond, gardens in downtown Hillsborough, the botannical gardens in Chapel Hill, and lots of other locations to officiate at small ceremonies. We meet in a parking lot and find a beautiful spot, most often chosen by the couple beforehand.
The only drawback is that you can't ensure privacy because the space isn't reserved. But with a typical ceremony lasting only about 20 minutes (especially if there are few formalities), this is seldom a problem.
Frank and Tonya had just the wedding they wanted,
celebrating their love in the words and setting that meant most to them.
And all of us in attendance relished our time with them.
The Highgrove Estate is a beautiful restored home just south of Fuquay-Varina and about 20 minutes drive south of Raleigh. It's perfect for a summer evening wedding. The vista from the ceremony site overlooks Laurel Lake, the patio catches any breeze that is possible, the house has a classic winding staircase that's perfect for pictures and ...
the estate has multiple wonderful settings for perfect photographs.
Stacy Borelli from Swank Photo and Studio took all the pictures you'll see in this posting. Jenna's parents came all the way from Tampa, Florida and Tim's were luckier to come the short distance from Zebulon, NC. In all, over 150 guests joined them on this special day.
Jenna and Tim were surrounded by family and close friends with 6 bridal attendants, 2 honorary bridal attendants, 2 flower girls and 7 groom's attendants in attendance. But the wide patio accommodated everyone beautifully. We even had room for a unity candle table and a small bottle of water stashed behind it just in case on this particularly hot day. (TIP: Noticing where the sun will be in the sky for your ceremony is especially helpful for North Carolina summer weddings.)
After making sure that the right person had the rings and the mother's knew how to light the candles for the unity candle ceremony, we were ready to begin. Angela, from The Highgrove, was great in helping make sure every logistical detail was taken care of. We were also glad for the last moments of air conditioning as we lined up in the house before we entered into the hot sunshine. Aware of this possibility, Tim and Jenna chose ceremonial words that were rich in spirit and full of heart and warmth, and weren't long. They wanted a ceremony that was beautiful, romantic, elegant and family oriented. And this tone came through in their ceremony and in every aspect of the evening.
Music for the ceremony and for the reception was expertly provided by Ryan from Island Sound DJs and Video. He also provided a lapel microphone for me, which always makes it easier to be heard in outdoor settings.
I left while guests were enjoying cocktails at the many outdoor groupings on the patio, and the wedding party were having pictures taken - just before everyone entered into the elegant air-conditioned tent for the rest of the festivities.
Everyone had a great time.
At 7:45 am on the drizzly Tuesday morning of September 22nd, Richard, and their friends and I gathered at the Old Well on UNC campus to await Caroline's arrival at 8 am when we would begin their wedding ceremony. The sun kept moving in and out of the clouds so we were hoping hard for no rain. Everyone was generous of spirit as we waited and I felt lucky to be their officiant. 
At this gathering were their friends from the School of Pharmacy and from the small UNC contingent of Singaporeans. It was a small and very close group. This was to be their American wedding and when they return home to Singapore, they would have another wedding with their families and friends there.
Their local reception would be held that night at the Top of the Hill restaurant in Chapel Hill so we wanted their ceremony and short time after the ceremony (folks had to get to class by 9:30) to include their wedding cake and a toast. To accomplish this I created a special symbolic ceremony within the wedding ceremony to include the cutting of the cake, and them feeding each other cake, with these words:
After the ceremony, the signing of the license, and many pictures, .....
The whole group accompanied Caroline and Richard to the car their friends were lending them for the day. It was decorated Singapore style. I congratulated them that this custom was more attractive that most of the ways we decorate cars in this country. 
